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SPIRITUAL CRISIS/ Accidental MP, sad that he has no relatives who deal with drugs, tenders...

2026-02-19 17:56:56Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Sad MP Trifon Lumëmadhi

TIRANA – Maybe it was the influence of the nasty weather, this rain that never stopped, and that when it stopped for a while, it was replaced by cold and wind… Maybe it was the fact that even though he belonged to the majority, he saw some opposition colleagues coming to parliament in cars that cost as much as his apartment… Maybe it was because when he spoke to two female colleagues in the Parliament café about the latest book he had read, they frowned and gestured to each other, “ Don’t notice that it’s a bit shabby”…

It was all a combination of reasons, but accidental MP Trifon Lumëmadhi had been feeling sad for a while. To be honest, he still doesn't understand why I Gjati included him on the list of candidates for MP, and worse yet, he still can't believe he managed to enter parliament.

He thought to himself then that his contribution to the local Socialist Party, and his profile as a talented engineer who also writes poetry, had caught the attention of the center. He imagined how I Gjati, after reading the profile that his friends from the district had sent about him, had said, " Bring this guy to Tirana, the party needs people like that, friends!".

But now all of this seemed distant.

***

Even before attending parliament, Trifon was the only young socialist MP who diligently took the literacy course, where prominent professors of parliamentarism like Piko Meleshi (who, after finishing high school at night, also took two optional faculties) explained how the Assembly works and how laws are made. He took notes and read until late at night, refusing Zegjine's successive invitations to go to the pub after class.

But when parliament began, all the myths fell one after another, and he began to feel like a fish in the sea. All his friends were involved in tenders or had relatives who were tenderers; they had construction companies or hotels, on whose balconies every afternoon they were honored to dry bundles of freshly laundered money; or they had done the Tall One such a great favor when they worked in state offices, in archives or cadastres, that he had returned them with his characteristic generosity. Or, most commonly, they definitely had a relative in Italy, Greece, Brussels, London, Spain, Machu Picchu or Chinamachi, who specialized in the import-export of psychotropic substances.

In fact, Lumëmadhi was trying to integrate. He would approach his colleagues and say, “ I believe we need to move faster with the approximation of legislation with the EU in the mining sector,” and they would gasp. Or he would ask the party’s midwives to raise their voices with him about a broken road in the villages that had voted for him, but they would interrupt, “Hey, is that perfume you’ve put on or is it just the smell of the environment?”

The worst was when he plucked up the courage and declared: "No, no, you got these coffees from me!" Then the whole group would hold their ribs with their hands from laughter.

***

The climax came when the news broke that even opposition MP Zelda Koti had a brother, a husband, three cousins, and four drug addicts. She wandered the streets and said to herself, "Oh my God, how useless I am! Why did you make me so old-fashioned, oh my God!"

He had heard that the Doctor made towers through third parties, and he believed it.

“It makes sense ,” he said to himself, “ for so many years as a member of parliament and prime minister with a good salary, he has made so much money. Then there are the scoundrels with a good salary.” He had heard that socialist friends had made a name for themselves with call centers, road construction, banana containers at the port of Gramsh; or that prominent opposition figures like Edi Palosja and Nul Moka had villas; but that even Mrs. Koti, whom he considered a scoundrel par excellence, had so many contributions, he could not imagine.

He decided. He would resign. Participation in the temple of lawmaking, membership in the first branch of government of the Republic, such as the legislature of a NATO member country that was moving rapidly towards membership in the Peace Board, would not have been for him.

“I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy, period,” he said to himself and began to formulate the text of his resignation. But at that moment his phone rang. It was his brother, who nervously informed him that he had received a large fine from the traffic police for not wearing a seat belt.

He jumped up with joy. " Keep it up, you bastard," he shouted into the phone, "and get a couple more tickets for using a cell phone while driving. And swear at the cop. I'll explain later."

And he ran to meet his colleagues, to share the good news that he had a criminal relative!

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column that also puts seat belts on bicycles


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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