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NEW AGENCIES/ Gjanti saves another Jew, his name is Bibi. Diella seeks computer shelter on the Kajmak Islands

2026-01-30 17:19:01Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The Tall One saving a Jew

TIRANA, TEL AVIV – In a heroic gesture that won the admiration of the whole world, highlighting once again the noble qualities of the Catholic-Orthodox-Bektashi-Masonic-pragmatist-Buddhist Albanian, I Gjati saved yet another Jew in need this week. The one saved is called Netanyahu, Bibi Netanyahu.

World news agencies wrote about the selfless act of the man who for years has declared that saving Jews is one of the specialties of the nation he represents.

The new innovation this time is that the Tall One did not wait for the Jew to knock on the door of Surrel's house in the middle of the night and say: "I am in your custody, they want to take me to The Hague for consuming Palestinians beyond the norms allowed by the European Union."

No. He took the besa with him and went straight to Israel. He had said to Bibi earlier: " You don't need to come here, fratello. I'll come there and save you, directly on the spot."

And so he did. He went to the Jewish parliament and told how Albanians had saved 200 Jews from the uncut claws of the Germans here 80 years ago.

"Someone will say, you still with these old stories? No sir, I, as a cocktail Albanian, have modestly come to save another Jew, who you have among you. What haven't they told the black man; they want to arrest him and shoot him in seven windows. But I won't allow it," declared the Tall One amid stormy applause.

Next, he explained that he would act like the Albanians during the war: he would change Bibi's name to disguise him, call him Vlach, and dress him in traditional clothes so he wouldn't be recognized.

"Here," said the Tall One, who had come prepared, " I'll dress him in a pair of these benevreki of mine, and I'll put a colorful tie on him so he'll blend in with the crowd!"

Bibi really liked the clothes, especially the benevreki.

"They have a lot of space," he said happily, " I can easily hide drones, missiles, and bombs here in case of danger!"

***  

It's been a long time since Diella's name has been heard. The virtual anti-corruption minister, with that soft and soothing voice that makes you fall asleep when you hear it, promised that she wouldn't let a single lek go to waste, that budget thieves would starve to death and be forced to work as waiters to make ends meet. I Gjati even declared that he would lay down his arms 80 times to give each MP a Diella who would guide them in parliamentary life.

But it seems that age takes its toll and perhaps the fertilization did not work. However, this was not the biggest problem. It turned out that the biggest thefts were made precisely in the office of Diella, with the Diella agency. Even the reactionary American newspaper New York Times wrote about this issue, and sources for Patrona?isti say that Diella is not finding a server to log in to out of shame.

It's even worse. It's said that all the thieves of the National Agency for the Society of Disinformation will leave it alone, and they will blame Diella for only thinking about putting on a show and having to work.

According to the latest data, sensing this trap, Diella sought computer shelter in the Kajmak Islands, which, as is known, are a sweet fiscal paradise where money changes pockets every three hours, until it returns to Tirana after a year as strategic investments, to build towers in the shape of the Long Tower. For this, she has also left a vengeful note to her employer:

"You sir, who saves the Jews and brings them to your people, remember: You may leave me with a burden, and without bread! But you will not go with me!" 

Note: Patrona?isti is a pro-sun, anti-thief satirical column


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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