OFFICIAL/ The Tall One's jokes are definitely saltier than the Duce's!

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ASSASSINATION/ Trump: The incident at the journalists' ball proves me right when I say that journalism must end!

2026-04-28 17:26:42Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Trump explaining the dangers of journalism

Trump: Didn't I tell you the media is harmful?

Declaring that the horrific incident once again proved him right in his occasional statements for many years, US President Donald Trump stressed on Monday that the shooting at the White House Correspondents' Dinner reinforced the need to end journalism.

"Dear friends, and especially you, my friends: Over the weekend, a horrific act of violence occurred that would never have happened if we didn't have a free press," Trump said, adding that the petty crime would have been impossible if anyone had taken his repeated calls to repeal the First Amendment seriously.

"I've been trying to warn people about the danger of holding my administration accountable for its actions. Look where we've gotten ourselves into now. We can't undo the past, but I hope this terrible event proves once and for all that journalism should be banned as soon as possible."

Trump went on to acknowledge that some American media outlets had been responsible in their noble mission of continually praising the President's colossal work in improving his life and that of his family, but the danger posed by journalism as a subversive activity remained very great.

"If there were no journalism, there would be no reporters, no correspondents' dinner, so there would be no shootings," Trump emphasized, " but who can tell, do these bastards find out?"

Court rules: Trials will be held in glass cages, but visitors are prohibited from throwing food into them

A decision by the Ultra Extra Special Court in Tirana clarifies that from now on all court hearings will be held with as many glass cages as possible.

According to the decision, not only the accused, but also the prosecutors and the jury will now be placed in glass cages. The three-cell anti-corruption courtroom will have ventilation holes and microphones so that the parties can communicate with each other, either verbally or with signs, and each cage will have five- to six-star accommodation conditions.

Aware that the decision in question will also be accompanied by a financial bill, the court has decided that the court sessions will bear their own expenses. To this end, the sessions will be open to visits by grandparents with grandchildren, students, but also tourist groups.

"We order that these visits become part of the guides for domestic and foreign visitors, with the corresponding ticket price, within the framework of the strategic tourism vision, Albania 2099, " the decision emphasized.

The court warns that interaction with the caged creatures, whether they are defendants, prosecutors or judges, is strictly prohibited. While throwing food, bananas, chips or cigarettes inside the cage is punishable by a fine.   

The standard sculpture of a cool Italian chef, key proof that the bar makes good pizzas

Customers are convinced that a fiberglass sculpture depicting a mustachioed Italian chef, possibly named Luigi or Pepe, recently placed in front of La Vera Pizza in Kombinat, is irrefutable proof of the restaurant's high standard.

"I was looking for a real Italian pizzeria and had no idea where to go, but then I saw that statue with the puffy cheeks and the little curled mustache," German-married combine worker Pamela Gjytyrymi-Schneider said on Saturday.

“I was instantly convinced that this place would definitely make great pizza,” added Gjytyrymi-Schneider. According to her, the fact that the place had installed a sculpture of a typical Italian chef, a barcaliq, with a red scarf around his neck and a permanent smile, was a guarantee that she would eat a pizza as good as in Italy.

"The cute chef was wearing a white apron with a few sauce stains, so you know the food would be good. Otherwise, why would they have put him at the door of the restaurant?"

The customer added that even the slightest doubt that the pizzeria owned by the famous Shemo Kaco might not be authentic Italian was dispelled when she sat down and noticed a framed photo of Al Pacino on the wall.

Note: Patrona?isti is an anti-cage satirical column


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