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THE SADNESS OF THE EPISODE/ No one works! Since I left, the parliament has been covered in mud!

2026-04-06 18:49:37Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
I watched him laugh at the Duce's salty jokes.

TIRANA – With a worried look and a controlling eye, the socialist MP, former Speaker of the Parliament and former Foreign Minister immediately began inspecting the parliament premises in the first session after her dismissal as minister.

"Pu pu pu, where did you get those old-fashioned curtains, Piko Meleshi," he said in a voice low enough for his colleagues nearby to hear, " you're also a Korçar Medemek, a boy with taste." 

He carefully ran his finger over his desk and came across some dust.

"It's terrible," he sighed, "since I left, this place has been covered in mud. These jobs are not left to men!"

MP Episa Spirodhalla has been making similar criticisms recently about everything related to the functioning of the parliament, the government and the Socialist Party. Ever since she was suddenly fired from the Foreign Ministry at the height of the renovation of her wardrobe of suits and dresses, which had transformed her 100% compared to those 5-euro basma skirts as head of the village cultural center, which she wore at Mjafti's, she has been unable to find a solution.

On the same day that he discovered that the parliament had been reduced to a boys' dormitory room, with socks and slippers strewn here and there, Episa suddenly noticed that parliamentary life was in crisis.

"There is a lack of control, the leaders think that the most important thing is procedure," she declared, looking at Speaker Pikua, "The Assembly is in crisis because it only produces tension but not governing policy! The socialist parliamentary group is non-existent! We need institutions that function, not ones that simply exist!"

Poor Piko tried to calm her down tactfully, " You're all right, come to your senses with the maid," but she didn't. Then the group leader, Taullau, gestured to Piko: "Leave her alone, she'll get over it...".

*** 

And in fact, the desert was not to blame. From Minister of State, to Speaker of the Parliament and then Minister of Foreign Affairs, for years Episa had been in a world of wonder. In the Parliament hall, she would joke with The Tall One, mocking the Doctor, at party meetings they would come and go together discussing the progress of affairs, and to anyone who approached her, she would scold, " Leave us alone, can't you see that we are busy?" At election campaign meetings, The Tall One would walk first and half a step behind her would be her, radiant and smiling that Albania finally had the good fortune of being led by the two of them.

In every conversation with foreign delegations, one or two would say, "on this issue, I Gjati and I think that... " When she received any remark or complaint, she would declare with a frown: "Is that so? Strange. Bella must have done it on her own, because I Gjati and I don't know anything."

When the news came that SPAK was seeking immunity for Bella, Spirodhalla was with Kosi, the European Commissioner for Enlargement. She went ear to ear and told Kosi in confidence: " Well, that stan has that dairy!"

But damn, that moment of joy was photographed and published in all the media. And not only did Bella do it, but the Tall One didn't forgive her either.

"Who is this who rejoices without the party's permission? I want order and discipline," he shouted. Bella, for her part, after months of resistance, decided to make the final sacrifice.

"I'm leaving the government, " he told the Tall One, " but you're going to get rid of that viper too, because I can't stand her! I've been doing the impossible for so many years and I'm not getting any weaker, she's doing the impossible and not getting any fatter! Let the simple MP wash the dishes!"

***

He was on an official visit to Kosovo when the news of his dismissal reached him. In the moment of his first panic, he said to Vjosa: " Skënderbeg has dismissed me! Do you have a place as vice president?"

But Vjosa shrugged: "I've been on my own for two months. What can I say, sister!"

For the sake of truth, Albin offered him a place in the government, because even the Tall One had stolen ministers and made them directors in Albania, but he warned him: " I don't know how long it will last, because we could have another election in four months!"

Then she decided to remain a socialist MP, because she had three more years of mandate. But she told Albin something else:

"Thank you for your consideration, Mr. Prime Minister. But I will return to Tirana to fight for Albania. I don't know if you've noticed, but there has been a huge corruption outbreak there, the government is linked to crime, the economy is blocked by oligarchs, while our historic party is suffocated by the dictates of the One. Let alone the parliament that has been covered in dust and no one can even get a broom or a rag through it!"

Albini laughed: " Really? I hadn't noticed. It's the first time I've heard it!"

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column for critics who only start noticing flaws after they fall off the cliff.   


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