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RUGĪDALJA/ It was decided: Next week the opposition will protest with the flags of the Fiji Islands!

2026-03-23 17:13:11Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Fijian Democrats protesting

TIRANA/DOHA – The government and the opposition sharply accused each other this week of misusing young people for their own nefarious purposes.

Thus, the ruling Socialists (where half of the directors are democratic immigrants with regular residence permits) accused the Democrats of using minors in their protests to throw fuel bombs – due to the increase in the price of gasoline – at government buildings and the police. They even declared that they had photos and footage of how Fariu's son himself was guiding the teenagers from a distance, even though the latter, in the family, is more specialized in bombs with paçe and pilaf, which he proposed throwing at the blue uniforms to increase the cholesterol of the policemen.

But for their part, the Democrats accused the authorities of hypocrisy. In a press release that Nul Moka could have written himself, if he knew how to read, it is said that at least the opposition uses its own nephews – one of Pim Çeka, two of Xhelal Derëziu, etc. – to throw Molotov cocktails. Secondly, the opposition takes on the risk that due to lack of experience, some of the bottles either do not catch fire, or fall on DP deputies and the Doctor himself. And thirdly, at least the career in the DP is meritocratic and starts from the field, unlike the socialists who take scoundrels and put them in key positions.

The patronage states with horror that he did not believe that this day would come when Nuli would be right. The truth is that now that the level of veteran government directors, that is, the 30-35 age group, is either under criminal prosecution, or has fled to Dubai, or refuses to sign anything, I Gjati is being forced to hire students or high school students.

Thus, the new deputy director of the Port of Durres is a 23-year-old seasoned specialist, whose strongest point on his CV is the dance he performed at the prom. Meanwhile, the new ambassador of Albania to Qatar, a 25-year-old girl, has been appointed by President Barjam Beu, about whom Barjam said that " she will do the job well, because she knows Qatari and lives in Qatar."

At this point, it is learned that one of Gjati's methods for neutralizing opposition protests is to give positions in the government to teenage bomb-throwers, after giving them a crash course in throwing signatures.

"If the boys have made up their minds to go to prison, they should at least have made some money first," Gjati instructed his own.

***

The Doctor's biggest embarrassment this week wasn't the tear gas that Nuli accidentally threw in his face during the protest. No, it was Germany's negative reaction to the protesters' use of the German flag while throwing Molotov cocktails and fireworks.

"The German flag and violence do not go together, please don't talk to us, brother, because these things are harmful," the German embassy warned.

The leadership of the Democratic Party of Serbia (DP) met immediately afterwards to find a solution. Messages were sent, phones were rung, but it turned out that none of the EU countries agreed to use their flag in opposition protests. Even worse, the candidate countries did not want to either. The Doctor even contacted some old friends in Belgrade, but received an answer that Serbia did not prefer to get involved with protest flags either, because it had its own problems.

The solution was provided by Zeni, who happened to be at the meeting.

"Dad, why don't we wave the Fijian flag at next week's protest? My daughter-in-law returned from there the day before yesterday, it's a very beautiful place, with palm trees, beaches, consolidated democracy... Look at the pictures!"

Looking at photos of Zen's bride on the beaches of Fiji, the board members unanimously agreed that with Fijian flags, the Long government would surely collapse next week.

*** 

The statement of the Minister of the Fight against Illiteracy, Mirela Kumbaraja, after the government meeting, caused a stir these days. Journalists asked her what is the secret of her success, that she always has a position in the cabinet of the Grand Master all these years, while her colleagues come and go. In fact, most come and go. We are following the full reaction below, so that they do not accuse us of fabricating false news:  

"The secret of my continuity in His Highness's cabinet certainly does not involve just one aspect. Someone would say it is the promotion of Përmet jam and lyko when I was a tourist of the ministry... excuse me, Minister of Tourism. Another would say it is the permission I gave for a sausage shop in Butrint Park, or the protection I gave to that tiny tourist spot in the bay of Manastir in Saranda, which has now opened up like an oil slick and has taken up half of Corfu. But I think the secret is the far-sighted leadership of His Highness, who naturally sees further; so far that all the ministers would not see together, even if they stepped on each other like in the circus of Patos.

And what are we, a white door; we are vain, nothing, a void where the wind blows! That is the vision, that is the leadership, the philosophy, the illuminating lantern, that you took from the days of Bella and Spirodhalla, oh great God! Or when you climb the stairs of the prime minister's office, flap by flap, like a butterfly, and the whole building becomes light, whatever Mirela does to her!....”

The godmother went into a delirium for about a quarter of an hour, not realizing that the cameras had already disappeared and she was already talking to the confused guards of the prime minister's office.

Note: Patronazhisti is a satirical column that believes that the only flag that deserves to be waved at an Albanian protest is that of Jamaica.


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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