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LATEST / Here is the open letter of the flamingos of Zvërnec

2026-06-08 16:59:42Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
A group of flamingos without a party

ZVËRNEC, First left turn – Honorable citizens, immigrants, students, villagers and workers, from Shkodra to Vlora!

We who are writing to you are a group of non-partisan flamingos from Zvërne, who are following with great attention your protest in defense of our lagoon and the island opposite, Sazan, which is the only wild island in Europe.

We have been deeply moved by your civic response against the arbitrary occupation of the waters and forests where we, year after year, spend our summer vacations and eat a slice of bread while cooling off in the wonderful shallows. We would gladly join your protest, but we don't have much time before the beach season begins, and in two months we are once again on our way abroad.

However, we will say two words: We thank you immensely for remembering us, the brave ones (even if we come across as slightly rosy), while you did not make a sound all these years, when they fired you from your jobs, robbed you, took your property, beat you while convincing you that they were pampering you, raised your prices while convincing you that Albania was the first in Europe for this achievement, and pushed you to flee the country in droves while convincing you that this was your dream for centuries.

Now, you will say that we were the reason, since in fact you are shouting about these other things. You are right, because every protest needs a reason. But, in our opinion - as much as we feel honored and almost flying with pleasure - do not shout for us.

Don't get carried away, you're welcome. Zvërnec is just a summer house for us, an Air BnB, so to speak. Even if this elite tourist resort is built by Ivanka and Jared, it won't bother us. On the contrary. As the prime minister said, we can move among the tourists, pick up a shrimp in the water, take pictures, and even make some money. Some of us are even ready to start seasonal jobs as waiters; why go to Greece and Italy where they don't leave us without saying anything?

Then, have you seen Ivanka and Jared? They look like flamingos too, sometimes they even look like some of our cousins ??who took to the streets of America many years ago and now don't know a word of English. After all, even the prime minister, despite his back hurting a bit lately and sitting crooked, looks like a flamingo left in the lurch. So, we are ours.

Keep in mind something else. As we told you above, we are not exactly natives of Zvërnec either. We are refugees, we come and go. And this was the reason why we did not benefit when the lands were divided by law 7501: We were on the streets of the world, because we were distracted by the advertisements of the Italian and the Greek, and we remembered that capitalism was a field of flowers. Whoever stayed, won.

Once again, don't get carried away. Even if they steal from us, our party is there, ours steals from us. At least he speaks beautifully, has charm, tells jokes, draws, builds skyscrapers and takes his people to prison. He steals from you and doesn't feel it at all, he has a feather-light hand, like those experienced nurses when they give you a vaccine. Only Bella Balluken couldn't be trained to steal elegantly, like a flamingo. She has a heavy hand, like a sea urchin.

Can you imagine, if your protest brings to power once again, the last wild Doctor of Europe? And if the next ministers are all the australopithecines he has around? Then yes, we will be the largest zoo in Europe and Leonardo DiCaprio will come to our defense along with Al Pacino.

Or, you know what? Fight. Yes, fight, whatever you have to do with it. Get rid of the soft Tall One, the wild Doctor, the velociraptor Bella, and the troglodyte Nuli. But if you go and vote for them again in the next elections, please, don't use us anymore, don't take us for granted, and don't involve us in your affairs anymore. We have a prayer, we don't want to become either the world's gas or the DP's gas! Tung

A group of flamingos who wish you well

Note: Patronageist is a satirical column.   


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