BRAVE / Albanian government saves black American at the last moment!

 Kliko këtu për të tjera
Voxpress:

OFFICIAL/ The Tall One's jokes are definitely saltier than the Duce's!

2026-07-07 18:05:45Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The two finalists of the salty jokes

TIRANA – A recent study by the Karagjozlëku Art Committee, whose initials we do not see fit to write here, has proven that ultimately, the Long One's jokes are far and away saltier than those of the Duce.

As is known historically, the jokes of the Duce – the Italian fascist dictator (any resemblance is coincidental) who began his career as a leftist publicist and hardened socialist, continued by putting socialists out of work, beating and imprisoning them, and then building boulevards, palaces and promenades, and ended up going on a fur-hunting spree – had a pretty high dose of salt.

His jokes made other fascist hierarchs, close collaborators like Taulantio Di Bala, Ulso della Magna, Nico Di Lana, Bella del Villaggio and others, laugh. They held their stomachs in their hands and said to each other, making sure the Duce could see them, "He is great for God, he is an inimitable genius, what luck this country has had with him!"

Other collaborators, who didn't laugh enough, or who were too salty and didn't laugh at all, certainly didn't deserve to be close to the Duce and were expelled from his inner circle, like Buongiorno Buscati, Elisa Castrioti-Spiropalla and many other revisionists.

Thus, until now in history, the Duce was considered the greatest joker among global leaders. But not anymore. The advancement of technology, the age of computers and electronic sensors, carbon dating, the possession of the Albania 1 and 2 satellites, as well as the use of advanced aircraft Lasgushi, Naimi, Abdyli, Sotiri and Zefi, have enabled the production of ultra-modern cryptometers. And these devices have revealed the inevitable: The Long One's jokes are convincingly saltier than those of the Duce.

*

The Karagjozlëku Art Committee – whose initials you forget we will write here – has compared the cryptometer data, also taking the opinion of independent media experts such as Iskander Bixhozi, Lenc di Vangelio, Bero Maze, Ylli Rosaku, etc. The amount of salt in Të Gjati's jokes was indisputable.

In one of his latest jokes, I Gjati compared through photos the small number of people at the 37th protest in front of the prime minister's office, with the large crowd watching the World Cup matches in the square that bears his name, i.e. Skanderbeg. Of course, I Gjati did not make the mistake of taking photos from Saturday's protest, and it did not even occur to him that those protesting might be the same ones who also go to watch the matches.

With the elegance and tact that characterizes him, I Gjati accompanied the photographic comparison with the verses of his former song, " This is our Tirana, the Tirana of contradiction", not mentioning that the same singer-songwriter, sorry to say, had later written the song "Zemërthyer", dedicated precisely to I Gjati, whom he congratulated for the successful sale of ideals.

* 

One of Gjati's most bitter jokes was the one he made at the start of the flamingo protest, where all the protesters were either Greeks, or Iranians, or opponents of development, or people from the Doctor who were probably insulting the Doctor, or Albinists who wanted to make Albania a province of Kosovo, or failures who blamed the government for their disappointments. He accused the protesters of being against the increase in his and Ulsi's welfare, and of wanting to curb the welfare of Taulant and Bella.

But when he saw that the presence of 200,000 or so agents sold on the boulevard was putting the government and its institutions in a bad light, which had allowed so many spies to roam free, he declared that he would soon sit down for talks with the good protesters.

"Among those who accuse me of selling the country piece by piece as if it were my fiefdom; of building towers and resorts with drug money; of giving tenders to ten people; of asphyxiating domestic production; of driving away young people; of stealing today's budget and future hope; among them, there are also those who have come out for real problems," admitted I Gjati, "but I will sit down with the real protesters one by one, and I will give them a tender, a state salary, a license and a permit to enter their container with bananas in the port of Durrës. Now, this is European dialogue!".

After this joke, independent media experts burst out laughing and gave the Tall One the highest marks for his comedic ability.

*

However, Të Gjati's irresistible talent for making jokes with salt did not always work out well. In fact, it was a joke so salty – that one could mistake it for pureness – that was the genesis of all subsequent Albanian developments.

The Tall One once spoke on CNN that the first Trump to come to power would be a catastrophe for the globe, but now Trump has really come to power. Then he did his utmost to welcome the flamingo-colored president, and the second time he learned his lesson. He gave Zvërnec and Sazan in advance to Ivanka and her husband: "Take them, do whatever you want, build hotels, swimming pools, plant some cucumbers in the garden. They are of no use to me, they are just sitting there collecting dust."

Trump's daughter and son-in-law refused: " Whatever you want, we have plenty! Keep it to yourself because who knows, then you're a country with problems, we'll come and get a man of the earth!"

But Tall insisted, and they agreed. However, his body produces so much salt that Tall made another joke, this time with Trump, when this geography genius confused Armenia with Albania. To fix it, he had to join the Gaza Board, mediate the India-Pakistan conflict, and calm the bloodshed between the two Koreas, all the while telling jokes about his height and kneeling before every female prime minister he came across.

"The salt of this special man," concludes the Karagjozlëku Art Committee - we won't write his initials, get your head together - "is produced in such large quantities that it brings only one evil: It has turned the country into a brine where only embalmed politicians and pickled officials are preserved!"

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column with a balanced diet between sweet and salty.


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

Video

SHIKO KANALIN NE YOUTUBE
×