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JULY FLAMINGOSCOPE / Taulant Balla, eggs and flour will enter your life this month!

2026-07-02 19:26:53Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
An infiltrating Greek-Serbian-Iranian protester

ARIES

Under the influence of the planet of darkness, Neptune, Edi Rama will convince you that the beautiful civic and aesthetic protest is over, and now the true face of Greek-Serbian-Iranian violence has emerged, as he had warned. Of course, while the protest was beautiful, Edi Rama did not hear a word from his mouth about corruption, nor about Albania turned into a fiefdom where he distributes projects, land and tourist resorts as if it were Kristaqi's properties, nor about the youth that has disappeared from sight. 

Taurus

You have the spirit of complaint. You will complain about the heat, the suffocating air, about Tirana overrun by asphalt, cement and construction. And you will curse the government that has reduced the capital to this state. But like the incorrigible scoundrel and scoundrel that you are, you will complain again when the police, with gentleness, will cool you and your friends with a water cannon in front of the parliament. What more can the state do for you, you infidel?

Gemini

Charming rural semi-leader Taulant Balla will enter your life all light and charm this month, talking about the sovereign's mandate, representative democracy, the beautiful life we ??enjoy today, as well as a bunch of political and social garbage that wants to destroy our harmony. Imitating parts of the movie "Balla për Balla", Taulant will emphasize that Albania will not surrender to Russia's blackmail nor Berisha's criminal phalanx. Then he will sit down to drink coffee with Berisha, about some orders that the boss has given him. 

CRAB

If you, as a protester, are equipped with eggs, flour, yogurt, butter, vanilla, baking soda, etc., to express your anger against the government that serves the oligarchs while you barely make ends meet… why don't you make a cake instead? The protest is long, it's good to have something to eat. And if you think about it, as long as you have the luxury of eating cake, what the hell are you protesting for?

LION

You will soon learn that in addition to China, Russia, Vietnam, Cuba, North Korea and Mongolia – which you hold in high regard – Equatorial Guinea, East Timor, Mozambique, Paraguay, Djibouti and South Sudan have also been involved in inciting the Tirana protest, countries that are doing their utmost to prevent Albania from joining the European Union. 

Virgo

You will receive a strange email from Niko Peleshi, who informs you that 2 million euros have just arrived in your account, but first you need to agree on its percentage. You will also receive a second email from Niko Peleshi, apologizing for sending it by mistake, since your name also starts with E.

Libra

Removing Ardit Bido's influence from your sign will minimize the sudden mood swings and strange food cravings that would otherwise overwhelm you. But just when you think you've returned to normal, you'll wake up in the middle of the night and scream in the darkness: "Rama in prison, Berisha in prison!"

Scorpio

The only reason you don't believe in the saying "When you're slapped on one cheek, turn the other cheek" is because you're a two-faced man, and therefore, four-faced. And rightly so, getting slapped on four is not that easy...

Sagittarius

You are definitely a man of humor. This will be proven once again when you burst into tears this week after the police tear gassed you in front of the parliament. Don't complain: Think how much you would suffer if the police messed up the recipe and tear gassed you! 

Capricorn

You're dazed, confused, happy and confused, sporty and melancholic. If that doesn't make sense, add that you're also a practical guy, with a fixed agenda and schedule that you don't change as if it were a celebrity. The only way out of this mess is to wander melancholic just before you start exercising. 

Aquarius

Scientific advances will soon allow humans to travel to the most unimaginable corners of the universe. However, science has yet to find a way to get you off the couch to wash those dishes that have been in the dishwasher for three days. 

Pisces

Vacations, relaxation, tranquility, sun loungers, the deep blue waters of the Ionian Sea, kayaking and the beautiful color of your skin - which will transform from olive to chocolate - will be suddenly interrupted this week by a family sitting nearby, who decides to turn on the radio and listen to the summer hit, "Head in Istanbul, body in Ioannina" at maximum volume. Then you will realize that the only salvation is to return to the peace of the Tirana protest. And don't forget: Take a flamingo on the way back. 

Note: The Patronageist is a satirical column that hopes that flamingos don't come out of the bottle.


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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