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INFORMATION LEAK / Secret communication of socialist deputies about the protest is published

2026-06-12 23:03:09Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The socialist parliamentary group listening to the precious messages of comrade Tė Gjata

TIRANA – The patronage has obtained confidential communications from the short-term deputies of the Long Party, regarding the media management that the party should do to the prolonged protest of a group of lazy Albanians, who have the mind to pretend to be bloggers on the boulevard while the hotels and resorts of the coast are suffering for waiters, bartenders, foremen, masseurs, barbers and soufflés. Read it as follows:

Taullau Bau – Dear friends! With great revolutionary momentum, we young men and women of Librazhd… one second that this was for the other group. Hey, I found it. I want to ask you, how is it possible that the messages that the head of the communication office with the world, the granddaughter of comrade Memet, conveyed to us on behalf of Gjatiti, are leaking to the media? This work has been done by one of us, and he will answer!

The MP from Vlora who was with Balli for two months – That's right, comrade Tau Bau! I read the precious messages on the portals before on Vacap. This needs to be investigated, as we say there, "O Balo, you ate mine/ you did us harm!"

Comrade Memet's niece - My dear, are you going to talk right here, with progressive pro-European ethics and deontology, or are you going to sing us a song like you sang in Lul Basha's tent? Because you used to put sticks in our wheels, or have you forgotten!

The MP from Vlora who was with Balli for two months – What is this “mine”? You, my friend, address us with respect here, because you are not in the camp of comrade Memet, but in the group of socialist MPs. My sticks do not get dirty with your wheels, don't worry…

Bido the Archivist – Please, friends, share the instructions of the legendary leader with us and don't get carried away. But if you want to grab hold of the hair, put it on video so we can have a little fun, because that's not how it's supposed to be. Or is it, friends?

Taullau Bau – Shame on you, friend Bidon! Only I and Gjati have the right to see the live shows. You are a stranger in our village…

Comrade Beqir's niece - Please don't argue, otherwise I'll rip your mouths off. We're losing our minds here, you're dealing with petty things. Take an example from me and comrade Zegjine, who has become the target of those protest scoundrels, tools of the blackest Greek-Serbian-Turkish-Sorosian-Iranian-albinist reaction and their scoundrels!

Zegjineja – Honorable participants! Oh Gazoooo! First of all, we must explain to the people that the protesters are fewer than they say. They have added them with a computer, with facial indulgence, as they say. According to my calculations – because I have done some calculations – there are no more than 3,700,500,850,000… Wait a minute, I will find it…

Friend Memet's niece – Eat some cottage cheese, my sister, cottage cheese makes you sober. Let's go back to the messages of the Tall One, who has turned yellow all over, may the crow's eye catch me, he has become a handful. I can't see him like that, he looks at me in the eye and says, "how many have been collected today"? I make compresses in vinegar and calm him down...

Friend Beqir's niece - You're welcome, hold on! One midwife left us, another came! Spare us these details, because when I was giving him massages, you were playing the independent one on TV screens, oh my!

Taullau Bau – Not like that, it doesn't suit you! You come from honorable families! I see that your nerves have been broken since you followed the gangs of saboteurs. If the party needs a massage, there's no need to argue. I Gjati and I will call you both and we'll sort it out there...

Bido the Archivist – I lost the thread. Are we talking about a massage, or a message? Because if it was about a massage, I've been tearing flesh for a week, here on my shoulder, but I don't feel it for the good of the party!   

Zegjineja – Sorry to interrupt you, I found it: The participants in the protest were added via computer, with partial impotence, there are no more than 900 thousand 35 thousand 12 thousand or so. More or less.

Taullau Bau – It's called artificial intelligence, ooo Zegjine! Oh my God, I endured for a month in this province, I was saved for life...

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column that is not against mixing messages with massages, but it cannot stand manipulations with facial indulgence.


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