PUBLIC ORDER / Earthquake, volcano, hurricane, tornado and typhoon in the State Police!

2022-10-19 15:33:55Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Police car on the verge of a tornado

TIRANA and SURROUNDINGS - Conventional media, television, newspapers and portals have just announced in a group that an earthquake has occurred in the State Police.

The 12-point earthquake according to Richter has shaken the ranks of the main leaders of the police, who could barely hold themselves behind the desks, chairs and cabinets of the offices, say the sources, who add that the cause of this major natural disaster was the General Director of young police officer, Mr. Strumbullaku.

"With the aim of improving the performance of law enforcement, toughening the fight against crime, strengthening the crime against the war and criminalizing the crime of the war against toughening, I decided to cause this earthquake in the ranks of the State Police," announced the new director through a press release.

At the end of the earthquake, radical changes were noticed in the police dome. Thus, the head of the police of Elbasan saw himself in charge of the police of Korça, that of Shkodra in Durrës, that of Tirana in Vlora and this one of Vlora in Berat.

In this shocking framework, the media also made a retrospective of the great disasters that have happened among the ranks of the blue uniforms.

Thus, they mentioned the volcano a few months ago that riled the police hierarchs. It should be noted that the hot lava threw the director of the Tirana Police into the air, who was promoted to the post of Deputy General Director of the State Police, while the poor performance of the chief of Gjirokastra, brought him down to the head of the Academy of the police.

It was also remembered the hurricane of two years ago, when ten police directors were thrown into the air and, when the raging wind subsided somewhat, they found themselves at each other's posts.

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The State Police is probably the most unfortunate public institution not just in Albania, but in the entire Balkans. Readers remember how the 2017 tornado tore through police chiefs, most of whom were accused of supporting the cultivation of hashish across the country.

The tornado was so strong that it lifted bags of hashish into the air and carried them onto the streets of Amsterdam, Milan and Paris. Finding themselves out of work, most of the police directors began at that time to arrest black citizens who had not paid for the lights, while in their free time they escorted containers of bananas.

But in Albanian police history, the typhoon of 2001 will be remembered, the consequences of which at that time could be seen from Earth's orbit, just like the Pyramids of Egypt and the Great Wall of China.

The Albanian press recorded this typhoon, which started with the demonstrative burning of two boats transporting contraband to Vlora. The prime minister of the time declared then that the small boats, unsafe and unsuitable for sea transport, deserved nothing but burning.

Everyone remembers that since that time, the transporters took measures and long, powerful, four-engined and quite comfortable speedboats appeared on the scene, crossing Otranto in an hour at most, and even offering discounts.

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Reporting on the recent earthquake, as well as browsing the files on other devastating disasters in the ranks of the state police, Tirana's media declared that from now on, law and order is likely to reign in Albanian streets. Patronageist, however, noticed a small detail: Despite the earthquakes and hurricanes, volcanoes and typhoons, most of the leading names in the State Police remain the same.

It is learned that having fun with the wild phenomena of nature, now the police chiefs are more afraid of any wind or breeze.      

Note: Patronageist is anti-seismic satirical column

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