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CHRONICLE / The policemen misunderstand the orders of the Minister of the Interior

2022-08-12 22:01:03Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
CHRONICLE / The policemen misunderstand the orders of the Minister of the
The policemen misunderstand the orders of the Minister of the Interior

TIRANA / POTAM / SOKAKU I TA MARREVE - On the one hand, the order of the Minister of the Interior can be said to have been implemented. Chucja had spoken clearly, when he gathered all the chiefs of police and the chief constable himself with the name of a Hollywood actress of the 50s, Gladys.

"I don't want to see any more speedboats and jetskis coming out of the water, rushing over the sunbeds and injuring people, " Chucja said flatly on that hot July day.

And so it happened in Potam. Even the chief of police who was driving the vehicle personally took care that the boat did not come out of the water, and that the people were not injured in vain, but were killed on the spot inside the water, without falling on the necks of the umbrellas.

Surprisingly, Chucja disappeared from circulation immediately afterwards. The situation was taken over by Gledisi, who with a pair of binoculars in hand - like Kreshnik Spahiu vakti who controlled the Greek island of Corfu not to approach Saranda surreptitiously - scanned the entire coast of Shengjin for illegal watercraft, as a reaction to the incident that had happened 400 kilometers further south.

Čucja had privately complained to his wife, Defina Lico. " I told you not to injure people, not to kill. I swear they misunderstood me ," he clarified. And Defina immediately called Ed.

"Listen, Edush," he said, "my husband is not guilty. Yes, I have it here. It is very shocked. Then accidents happen all over the world. After all, what business does that child have to sit by the water with his father? Didn't they know that the chief of police would pass by in a speedboat? Terrible, why do these things happen to us. I really wanted to talk about that World Bank project, we didn't share our talents... You won't harass my husband, okay?"

And really, the State Police had realized the mistake, because a few days later, exactly at the point where the event happened in Potam, they saw speedboats full of people moving, but this time carefully and without cutting off the heads of beachgoers.

***

An unbiased observer can say that Çuçe has moved on in life before, like the girokastri from Sokak i te Marrëve that he was. That's why, when they asked him to do the territorial reform, he did not leave television without appearing, saying that the reform would help the Socialists to always win the elections, would reduce the staff who received qyl salaries, would reduce administrative expenses, would streamline the local administration and solved people's problems. Of all the promises, only the first came true, the victory of the socialists. That party expenses and employment doubled.

That's when Defina made up her mind.

"Well, not everything will work out for us. Then the leku comes and goes, what matters is that Edi is satisfied with the first promise, " she told him. And gave him a piece of advice:

"Listen here. That's what I used to say to Ed, when we used to go to the beaches of France for free, because we couldn't afford Dhërmi's deckchairs: Don't focus only on your work. Look around, who has done something successful, who gets praise, stay close and take it in."

***

Patronage sources say that Čucja is implementing Defina's advice point by point.

As soon as the Guardia di Finanza caught a ton of hashish sent from Albania, he came out and praised the work of the Albanian police, who also had a little help from their Italian friends. As soon as the Greeks seized two caravans of drug mules with renters in Grebene, Çučja applauded the investigative work of the border police.

In this line, he has appreciated the efforts of the Albanian police for every anti-drug success, from the Caribbean to Malaysia, from Siberia to South Africa.

Only a small incident happened to him. When he was talking about the burning of banana plantations in Colombia by the Albanian police in cooperation with the Colombian police, he was informed that in Durrës, they had opened a container at night and stolen 50 crates of bananas.

There, Čucja got angry and called Ed himself on the phone: " This is too much. I don't have the bananas," he said, " the fruits are covered by the Ministry of Agriculture!"        

Note: Patronageist is a satirical column in a banana republic


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