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SCARY / Cheti surrenders: The oil rose on its own, it got out of control!

2022-06-09 18:04:41Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
SCARY / Cheti surrenders: The oil rose on its own, it got out of control!
Chet explaining the price getting out of control

TIRANA - A sensational news - that has eclipsed the emergence of a raging and debauched river like Lana from the bed where she's supposed to stay - was the public call yesterday, by Qet Transparent addressed to civil society and the entire Albanian people.

Many lied when the price of oil touched the level of 260 lek per liter, thinking that this was an occult movement of Qat Transparent. As is universally known, as the largest fuel trader in the country at one time, Qeti relinquished wealth and loot and decided to become part of the Transparency Board that controls oil, gasoline and gas prices, shortly after the Russian offensive against Ukraine began, which caused the global crisis.  

In fact, it turned out that Qeti had no finger at all in the recent price increase. Instead, through a public statement, he called on civil society to gather for a mass protest in front of government offices, the offices of the Transparency Board, and the headquarters of the Karpaço Oil company itself.

"This Board is not functioning and the government is incompetent," Qeti declared on social networks, "whoever calls himself an Albanian, get up and come to the square, otherwise this place was kidnapped by the oligarchs!"

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In a detailed explanation to the public, Qat Transparent admitted that recently, the transparency of the oil price was becoming more and more turbulent.

"Our tactic was more or less like the Pogon dance: Increase it by ten, decrease it by five; increase it by eight, decrease it by six. Thus the market was kept in equilibrium, and the price remained under control. But I swear to you that the Board had not even convened, nor had we even exchanged messages. Our offices were closed, and even the guards were eating pie. When faaap, the price of oil went 258. I see the screen subtitles, it was real. Spruce up in Tirana at gas stations, kacafiu oil. I could not believe my eyes. I gave a transparent order to convene the board urgently. We gathered, we decided that the oil should be made with 230 lek per liter. When to see what? Oil remained at 258th. I did a test: I took it to the 210s. When you want, jump to 259! ”

Next, Qeti explained that it is likely that in the age of artificial intelligence, the price of oil over time has created a consciousness of its own and begins to make autonomous decisions.

"I had some doubts, in fact. Finally I noticed that the price of oil and that of gasoline were operating in unison. But seeing that the price of gas often behaved in the opposite, I calmed down. But I was naive. The three of them had devised the plan from the beginning. In short, I can no longer control it, brothers. "The price of oil does whatever it pleases, the rest of us are in vain, in vain."

Note: The patronage is a satirical column competing with the Transparency Board       


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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