TIRANA / SURREILLES - The war in Ukraine is coming to an end. This is what the news agencies announce, citing Kremlin spokesman Sasha Kastravetsov on the one hand, and the Ukrainian president's assistant, adviser Oleksandr Kastravechuk on the other.
The reason is simple. Both sides have agreed to meet at the exhibition that will be opened by the well-known Albanian painter Redi Ama, at the same time the prime minister of the country of falcons. As is universally known, in the language of global diplomacy, accepting to participate in the controversial artist's exhibitions automatically means unconditionally surrendering to the irresistible charm of the political artist, and approving any demands he may have.
It is not the first time that Prime Minister Ama has used his highly controversial penchant for drawing to achieve political goals. In the last few days, he managed to secure a lasting peace between the Greek Prime Minister Qirjako and his Foreign Minister Niko, through a pile of scraps he unfolded in Athens. We remind the readers that Qirjakua and Nikua had not spoken for several weeks.
On this occasion, Redi Ama declared that any interstate ambiguity between Albania and Greece would be automatically resolved, with the help of a favorable price of 5 thousand euros for each of his drawings.
At first someone called him that, and now Redi Ama himself presents himself as "the best painter among the prime ministers". He has made this very specific and narrow category for himself, after the traumas that he went through in his youth in the full categories as a failed painter and as a basketball player remaining in the attempt.
For both of his great pains, Redi Ama takes ample solace in his time as prime minister and his office at the head of the government. Thus, he spends his time as head of government and as chairman of cabinet meetings scrawling colored lines on every decision, which he then puts a price on. While the work office has been filled with basketball hoops stuck to the wall, and with designs of panicked butterflies and toads in Mexican boots, also attached to the wall.
And to any precious friend, foreign president or prime minister who comes to visit him, he shows how he makes a bin from one corner of the office to another, or how he fills the official notebook with colored paints. They, of course, pretend to be amazed to please him, and assure him that every head of government behaves the same way: He turns the office into a studio of former hobbies or crafts.
For example, a prime minister turns the office into a visiting studio or operating room; a teacher fills the government with ink, which he then teaches in his office. Or a pumpkin fills the office with rice, vegetables, spices and cottage cheese, and then it is called Stuffed Pumpkin.
Redi Ama has applied the opening of exhibitions as a means of peace in every phase of his career, and in every function. Even when he was the rotating chairman of the OSCE, he opened a personal exhibition on the border between Ukraine and Russia and invited Putin and Zelensky. As if by magic, the conflict was frozen for six or seven years in a row. Some scoundrels said they forgot about the war because they burst out laughing after seeing Red's troubles, but what does that matter. They also said that Red didn't really care about peace at all, but wanted to make some money. But the prime minister himself denied this accusation:
"The 3,000 dollars that I declared as assets in the early 2000s, as well as the official salary that I have, are more than enough for me. I don't want any money I get from the drawings for myself, but for my colleagues who are worse off than me, that is, for the prime ministers in need".
And so Red from time to time established peace and harmony in Venice, Rome, Paris, Brussels, Berlin, etc. Somewhere 2, somewhere 3 and somewhere 7 thousand euros a sheet of drawing, but the price is secondary when it comes to peace.
Soon Redi Ama will be closed in the basement of Surreilles to prepare the exhibition of Ukrainian peace. But the ill-wishers don't stop throwing mud at the working man. Recently, there were rumors that Redi Ama doesn't even make the brightly colored doodles himself: There in Surreilles, he has put to work about ten penmen from Bangladesh who scribble white sheets with government heads as they wish, and in the evening they deliver it to the prime minister.
Note: Patronageist is a satirical anti-graffiti column