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MOZAIK/ Counting the re-boxes, The Tall One at the wedding and the price of success 

2025-06-19 10:52:40Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The Tall One at the wedding of Alex, George's son

TIRANA/VLORA/LEZHA and elsewhere – The recount of the ballot boxes of the May 11 elections has brought some surprising side effects, Patronazhisti learns. So far, it turns out that the miscounted votes are so few that the socialist candidates on one side, and the democrats on the other, have been involved in a wave of empathy and mutual apologies, restoring social harmony in the respective parties.

"I'm sorry I called you a scoundrel," Belina Kijameti said to her friend Volta Llaçka, whom she suspected of stealing votes, while hugging her.

"We went a little overboard, we got caught up in this campaign epidemic," admitted epidemiologist Dr. Ali Ilirmehmeti, blushing, shaking hands with his colleague Jorgjie Tabakaja.

Meanwhile, valuable objects such as engagement and wedding rings, which fell inside due to zeal at the moment of voting, bracelets, and pieces of spinach pie from the first count were also found in the opened boxes.

But the greatest contribution of this process is the fact that Albania has moved up several places in the PISA educational test, having shown that it is better than previously thought in arithmetic.

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News broke that the famous Turkish actor Burak, who plays Osman – the founder of the Ottoman Empire – was vacationing in Vlora, the home of Ismail Qemali, who liberated Albania from the empire. Brave Vlora residents lined up to get his autograph, while the mayor, Dermal Dredhaniku, invited the handsome man to his office, with a portrait of Ismail Bey in the background.

When Buraku, driven by curiosity, asked him what those foul-smelling fires were that were burning all over the city, Dermali, who comes from a diplomatic career, replied with a smile: " Well, we make films too. I gave permission for them to be lit, because we are filming a series about the Vlora war."

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The coast of Lezha is making headlines for the tourist influx, which tempts tourists to spend up to 6 hours in traffic to catch a glimpse of the sea. Mayor Jean-Pierre Ndreu declared to those journalists who managed to get out of the traffic, that there is nothing you can do about the traffic.

“Traffic jams and mosquitoes in Shëngjin are the price of success ,” said Zhan-Pjeri, “ but tourists are also to blame. Someone comes from Tirana for the beach, word gets out, and they want to return to Tirana by the same route. Go, sir, from Shkodra, Tropoja, get off at Puka, go back to Dibër, and here you are in Tirana!”

*** 

The Tall One went to America for Alex's wedding. Little Soros had invited him, he couldn't spoil it. But when he met him, the first thing he said to him was: "You've picked a bad time for the wedding, Safa Ymeri!"

The Clintons, Kamala Harris, and the entire Democratic establishment burst into laughter.

The patron, surprised that American Democrats knew the jokes about "Mountains with hidden purchases," became interested and learned that Alex had previously instructed those present: " Laugh at everything he says, otherwise he will feel bad and start getting on his knees and giving scarves to the women of the world!"

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical anti-trash column

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