FIGURES/ Increasing poverty levels among children, INSTAT: They are lazy, they don't want to work!

2025-05-05 17:24:54Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Only 2% of Albanians aged 0-6 are employed, according to INSTAT

TIRANA – A recent European Union report assessing the situation of children on the continent, compiled by Eurostat, provides shocking data about Albania.

The report highlights that around 48 percent of children under 6 years old in Albania are at risk of poverty. This figure is more than double the EU average.

The data in the report in question, at first glance, seem shocking and are expected to be exploited by the opposition as the electoral campaign draws to a close. But a series of institutions have reacted, clarifying the real situation on the ground behind the curtain of numbers.

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In a statement to the media, the Albanian Institute of Statistics agreed with Eurostat's data, and explained that the increase in the poverty level of Albanian children is directly related to the scandalous rate of unemployment among this category.

"It's scary when you hear it as a number, but we must admit that the unemployment rate in this age group is 98%," INSTAT explains, " while the negligible 2% who make their own living are mainly engaged in unskilled work with uncertain income, such as standing on the sidewalk with their hands outstretched, selling almond bowls in cafes, carnations for Valentine's Day, bouquets of mimosas in the spring, etc."

INSTAT specifies that despite the fact that the tourism sector, the construction sector, or the liberal professions such as electricians, plumbers, etc., have major labor shortages, Albanians aged 0-6 do not show any interest in these fields with guaranteed income.

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Even harsher was the statement of the National Employment Service.

Strictly distancing itself from all appearances of laziness and vagrancy, the Service provided the media with data from the last five years:

"Check all the columns. If you find even one Albanian or Albanians aged 4-5 who have come to our offices to look for work, please do so. We have raised this problem several times, but we don't know, maybe this is our somewhat Balkan, oriental culture, of stretching out as wide as possible on the bed, or of giving in to pointless games... This generation has a head of stone, it doesn't listen to complaints."

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The Minister of State for Adolescents and Children, Bora Muuuuzhaqi, also expressed her concern about the scandalous level of unemployment among children aged 0-6.

"The government is working hard, but we have a problem with this category," declared Muuuuuzhaqi, " the generation of Albanians who fled to Greece and Italy and had their backs broken at work, has been replaced by these who found everything ready. They want toys, tablets, cell phones, to eat and drink, to be pampered. If you don't fulfill their whims, they start crying, while their friends in India, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc., support their families."

However, the minister struck a note of optimism when she stated that, albeit slowly, this backward worldview is changing.

"We have several Swiss-Swedish-Dutch-Norwegian projects in hand, totaling about 120 million euros, with which we hope to increase the level of employment for this category. The main focus is on raising awareness among parents that providing food and shelter to these parasites demotivates them from looking for work. The signs are good," declared Muuuuuzhaqi. 

Note: Although it doesn't seem like it, Patrona?isti is essentially a satirical column, which this time had a technical problem with the letter uuuuu key.


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