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BUMERANG / I Gjati promises to govern with AI, thousands of alarmed budget voters ready to vote for the Doctor!

2025-03-29 11:35:29Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

BUMERANG / I Gjati promises to govern with AI, thousands of alarmed budget

TIRANA – What started as a playful idea by Gjati to spoil the world's imagination with modern symbolism, computers, programs, and so on; risks turning into that L-shaped stick of the Australian Aborigines, that the harder you swing it, the more likely it is to come back to bite you.

Well, boomerang is the technical term.

The Tall One, the same one who insisted for 15 years in a row that he was not a politician; the one who emphasized in investigative committees and late-night shows that he did not understand the figures because they were dealt with by experts; the one who emphasized that he was a simple painter with a passion for basketball, or vice versa; in recent months, he has firmly advocated the introduction and use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) in every sector of public administration and in the management of funds.

Gjati even made fun of SPAK for not having an intelligent recorder when conducting those tedious question-and-answer sessions, instead leaving a secretary with a typewriter to type out the questions and answers on paper.

“The vast majority of governance will be carried out with artificial intelligence; e-Albania is nothing compared to what is to come; not only government documents and EU laws, but also tenders will be carried out by programs, not by people,” Gjati has declared time and again, grumbling in a low voice, “and if there are any objections, let SPAK arrest and interrogate the computer software then…”

The climax was in recent days, when Gjati stated that he had spoken to Mira Murati, who worked at ChatGPT, and she had told him that the AI's capabilities were frightening.

"Look, look, look, what AI can do to you, old man," he said during a video message from his office in pajamas, "nurse, teacher, lawyer, economist... whatever you need, brother. This is how we will paint Albania, by God."

***  

At this point the reader may ask where the crooked Australian stick comes in. The thing is that while promising the future of computer governance, the Tall One has begun to roam the country seeking the votes of the people. He collects them hospitably, five crumbs in Përmet, a handful of people in Roskovec, a small hand in Elbasan and so on.

But in the meantime, Gjati has forgotten the alarm that has gripped nearly 200,000 budget employees at every level, from the center to the grassroots, from ministries to schools and hospitals, municipalities and water supply, police and fire departments.

Sources tell Patronazhisti that the administration is buzzing with rumors that after the May 11 elections, most of them could be replaced by programs like Diella e-Albanias.

The latter is not only a scoundrel, but she doesn't even mind taking off her swimsuit and appearing on screen in a swimsuit, because she is neither married, nor does she have a patriarchal parent, and she is willing to do anything to keep her job.

There are even those who say that I Gjati won't even need ministers. He will only keep Bella Balluke because of her playful voice, which even Diella can't imitate, and with the others he will feed SPAK.           

***  

For this reason, it is learned that the central administration, local ones, and various budgets across the country are contacting the Doctor and his staff in various ways with a clear message:

"Doctor! We are ready to vote for you if you promise us that you will not fire us when you come to power. After all, half of us were Democrats before, but you lied to us for a long time and we went with Balli for ten years. On the other hand, even if you wanted to, you cannot replace us because you do not have enough people, the Germans have taken all of them. Hey, what do you say? Even the Kalamans laugh and rejoice when our lord comes!"

The Doctor's final answer is not known, but some nuances can be understood. Finally, he has not only not broken the silence from the description of the Tall One as a tawny owl, but has embraced the comparison.

With a plaster cast of an owl on the table, the Doctor openly admitted to the media that yes, it was a barn owl, "which is a smart bird, a symbol of wisdom and intelligence."  

Budgeters have caught the message: We accept animal intelligence, but not artificial intelligence...   

Note: Patronage is a natural satirical column


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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