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COMMENT/ How high can an egg tower be, and the slandered German coffee

2025-03-04 18:31:57Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
COMMENT/ How high can an egg tower be, and the slandered German coffee
Model of the tower at ATSH

By Patrona Zhysti

In this week so packed with new and old developments, the headline of the world media was the news that a tall and beautiful tower will be built on the ugly ATSH building. The buzz was not just about the tower, but about its builder, no less and no more than Mand Duka himself, the elected president of the AIBA chicken-egg company and owner of the Albanian Football Federation.

Many jealous media outlets, including Vox News, questioned how a tower of chickens could be built. In this regard, Vox is very much like Fox, the fox who sees the chickens and gets angry because he can't build a tower on his own.

But you are wrong, gentlemen. First, the tower will not be built with chickens mounted one on top of the other. This is for the simple reason that the Duke knows that the workers can eat the halves. The construction material will be eggs, which, as is known, are both fragile and strong, if placed at the right angle. Even if the plan changes and Mandi takes all the eggs for export to America, where 5-dollar grains have gone since America began to become Great Again, the tower can be built with pressed soccer balls.

Many angry people pointed out the fact that on the one hand, AIBA of eggs receives a building permit from the left-wing government (here you can laugh), while on the other hand, Mandi's brother, Gon Duka, becomes a political ally of the government's opponents, the conservative right-wing (here you can laugh) Doctor Berisha. That is, one hand on kadaif, the other on baklava. But they forget that things could have gone much worse. Goni is an agronomist, produces organic fruits and vegetables and sells basket goods such as beans, rice, pasta and buckwheat. Can you imagine how dangerous a building built with green salad or, worse yet, with bags of rice would be? One rain and the palace turns into pilaf.

The next event that shocked the world was the pure insult that the Tall One made to the Germans. The worldly man (actually, Linda's) went right into the middle of Berlin and told the locals that their coffee was as bad as chestnut juice.

"Come to Albania and drink coffee like the people, why do you have these coffee shops like sewage ," he told the local aborigines, " and on this occasion, do some beach time because your skin has become transparent, like tracing paper."

The Tall One has made a habit of going "right in the middle" of a place and blowing something up there. He blew it up once, early on, at Vučić in the middle of Belgrade, then he blew it up in the middle of Brussels, when he came up behind Meloni and kissed him on the cheek, and who knows how many other blowups.

The other buzz of the week was the holding of the Democratic Party primary elections, an event for which, as you know, Russia decided to declare the Japanese Foreign Minister persona non grata.

The primaries determined which candidates for deputies the party membership prefers. They also determined that the Doctor will appoint all the candidates himself. Meanwhile, the strongest conclusion of the primaries was that with that number of DP members who participated in the elections from north to south, the party can field a maximum of 7 deputies. Fixed as many as the seats of the deputies are certain that the Doctor will donate to allies. 

However, the most sensational news of the week was the appearance at SPAK of the president of the Partizani club, Gaz Demi. Summoned by a Partizani fan prosecutor, Gaz was asked to account for how the team could have lost three places in the standings within a month. For this, the president had a fax machine from 1993 confiscated. 

Oh, let's not forget. In addition to the above events, there is a possibility that World War III will break out next week.

Note: Patronageist is a satirical column


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