COLLISION/ Denmark accuses Albania of whetting Trump's island appetite

TIRANA/COPENHAGEN – An underground diplomatic conflict has recently developed between Denmark and Albania, while all the world's attention has focused on what mood Donald Trump wakes up in every morning and whose head he will measure with a string.

The patronage learns that a heated exchange of messages and phone calls took place between Gjati and Mette – not the one in prison, but Danish Prime Minister Mette Fredriksen.

The crux of the clash lies in the accusation that the Dane has made to the Tall, that he is guilty of planting in the minds of the Trump family, the idea that a lot of business could be done with the islands. It took a small spark for the Trumps' commercial vein to realize that this was a field with a lot of profit.

"Mr. Tall, you made a big mistake by offering Donald's son-in-law the island of Sazan to make a tourist resort. Shortly after that, they offered to buy Greenland for us in cash. Do you understand what an appetite you have whetted for them, who jumped from a piece of rock to an island the size of all of Europe?" said Mete's message.

***

The Tall One did not want to spoil the conversation with Mette, this charming and intelligent woman, so he returned it with humor: "Dear, why don't you take all the Danes to Greenland to keep for yourself, and give Donald little Denmark? Joking aside, we gave Sazan for elite tourism, casinos, yachts, music, cocktails, beautiful sunsets... I'm convinced, you will come to visit us too, Meloni will come from Italy, even Ivanka. Can't we make a four in dominoes?"

Metja replied angrily: " Why, who do you think I am, Georgie, who's messing with your mind with a scarf? Go away, you idiot."

The patron is not sure how to say "lamashi" in Danish, but sources assure us that this was exactly the answer. Denmark even threatened in informal channels that it would demand Albania's withdrawal from NATO and block its membership in the EU.

But the Tall One cut him short: " Britain left the EU, take us out too, and eat bread and cheese afterwards. As for NATO, if we leave, America will eat you, my poor wolf."

And he proposed a solution:

"Listen, listen here. So that it doesn't sound like surrender, give Greenland to me, and then I'll give it to Kushner for a polar tourist complex. Let's all leave in honor!"

***

The embarrassment caused by the Met quickly passed, and sources say that the Tall One continues to be amazed by Donald's entrepreneurial genius. The idea of ??the Gaza Strip being transformed into a tourist riviera where Palestinians would be employed as waiters, bartenders and electricians seemed unprecedented to him.

"Wow, what a master! The area is developing, the local aborigines are settling down and receiving salaries, and the GDP is growing. Here, this is an artist," said the Tall One to himself, and immediately called Kushner.

"Hey, I'm a giant, Eddie. Look, gather yourself beforehand from what I'm about to tell you. Don't you tell your father-in-law to bomb our Riviera, from Himara to Ksamil? Huh? No, what's the harm, I'll get the people out of there, no worries. We'll flatten it, then fill it with resorts, make it blossom like Gaza!"

Note: If you've noticed, Patrona?isti is a satirical column.