DEVELOPMENT PROJECTS / Doctor's Pyramid nearing completion

TIRANA – The number of volunteer slaves engaged has doubled this week, to make it possible to maintain the proper pace for the completion of the great Pyramid of the Doctor, the major project that, as Patronazhisti has reported time and time again, must be ready to welcome its distinguished resident.

While doctors have determined that the symptoms that the Doctor has been exhibiting for some time, those of chronic Spakism, are worsening, the timely completion of the gigantic structure on the land where the Democratic Party headquarters was once located takes on special importance.

“Only the largest pyramid in history is worthy of the last residence of the great Vigan Liberator ,” said his old comrade-in-arms, Tritol Shehu, “because the pyramid is the symbol of what this unparalleled leader gave to the Albanians.”

*

The media has often reported on the pace of construction of the gigantic work, which will totally eclipse the pyramidal Lilliputian on the other side of the Lana, once designed as the last spiritual residence of former communist dictator Tarras Bulba.

According to the project supervisor, the experienced builder Burri i Argita, the 120,000-ton pyramid, which will be visible even from the democrats of Mamurras 60 kilometers away, has so far cost the souls of 50,000 democrat slaves.

It will also house precious artifacts of the great leader, such as enlarged photographs with comrades Enver and Ramiz, Kalashnikovs and anti-tank rifles from the 1997 warehouses, bundles of ancient banknotes from the pyramids of the same year, extremely expensive paintings purchased at auctions by the doctor - the Doctor's wife - and most importantly, his most loyal slave, Nul Moka.   

"It is an honor and a duty to accompany the Doctor in eternity, " Nuli declared to the media, "because in addition to being comrades in the overthrow of the dictatorship, we were both doctors. If you don't believe me, look at this photo where I appeared with a stethoscope around my neck."  

*  

Despite the sanctity of the object and the security features that its inner chamber will have, the Doctor's Pyramid could fall prey to attacks from socialist gangs across the Channel, who could undoubtedly be lured by the precious objects that will be buried with the Doctor, including the video installation with the leader uttering the famous phrase, "This is a miracle of freedom!"

"Infidels and thieves, both religious and imam, have zero chance of getting inside, " declared the Doctor's newest follower, Belo Këllëfi, " because the facility will be guarded by the tank that the PD took from the Guard in 1998, while a deep defensive ditch will surround the Pyramid, filled with oil provided by Taçi Oil."

Meanwhile, according to the project, Nul Moka will always be on the alert from the inside, holding in his hand the weapons left over from the heroic January 8 attack on the headquarters occupied by the Lulbash collaborators. 

*

News agencies report that to accelerate the construction of the Doctor's Pyramid, a proposal has come from Minister Bella Ballukja - with the mediation of Belo Këllëfi - who suggests dividing the project into lots.

“Now that we have finished the big ring, we have enough slaves available to help you,” Balluka's proposal said, “and if we divide the project into segments between Çeti, Zamo, Baçi, Taçi, Kaçi, Naçi, Laçi, Kuçi and Maçi, we can finish the job with only an additional 400 million euros.”

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column allergic to pyramid schemes