COOL/ The charlatan still doesn't give up on the galata: People in Italy are dying for bread...

TIRANA – With a worried expression that he always uses when the nation is in great trouble, the charlatan declared yesterday that in Italy people are dying for bread. The manipulator explained that indeed people there can receive a salary of 1500 euros, but the last 10 days of the month are found begging, or eating soup at Caritas. The situation is so bad that even Caritas sometimes goes and feeds at the Red Crescent.

"They have terrible prices, terrible rents. But our people don't know, and they go like goats to the butcher. Instead of returning to their homeland and investing, taking advantage of the endless facilities offered by the government, Albanians still want to leave. We don't hinder anyone, but as the saying goes, a heavy stone in its place ," added Delenxhiu, adding to his worried mimicry the wrinkles of a wise man who knows that the word will come out someday, but ah, whatever, it will be too late.

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Skuthi made the above statement in a so-called podcast, an activity that is apparently part of the job for which he receives a salary. On such occasions, he invites different people to the microphone, silent heroes from different walks of life, who are supposed to talk about their experiences, but who in fact remain silent. Because they come to listen to the chatter and advice he has for the government, but which the latter does not listen to.

In the above podcast, the great visionary did not explain how Albanian immigrants can come to invest their profits in Albania, when he himself said that they are unable to put money aside due to high prices.

But it's not the first time that the local player - who dreams of being a global player - has glaring gaps and inconsistencies in his legendary statements.

He once promised the local aborigines free healthcare, but now they only get free advice from a doctor to go to a private hospital, or to go to the private pharmacy around the corner, since the hospital pharmacy only offers cupping.

Finally, after a minor scandal, he promised a new earthquake at the oncology hospital, but just two days ago, chemotherapy doses were being sold under the table again.

He promised to reverse the former filth and rampant corruption in the education system, but he closed the kiosk private universities, to make the state ones as illiteracy courses.

The tar with the paint increased the country's GDP by a hundred million times the income of ten people, and halved that of 2 million others, but what matters is that the division is done correctly. And then you wonder why people leave when the economy is booming!

He increased the salaries of the administration by 80 percent, while purchasing power has fallen by 120 percent. He adjusts the pensions of the elderly for inflation, and calls it a pension increase.

Some impudent person would ask where the money came from to grow the economy, but they forget that the banana trade turnover in Albania – and that in Europe with Albanian traders – has reached its peak in recent years. Even from a satellite, the port of Durres, according to scientists, appears yellow.

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For those who would ask what kind of promises the scoundrel makes and why they accuse him of broken promises, Patronazhisti has learned that the scoundrel in question is not actually the prime minister. Made is not even a politician, as he often said at the beginning of his podcast career. Even today, he declares that if he comes to power, he will do many things differently from his predecessors from the 2013-2024 period, who have done a thousand things wrong.

But what is it then?

As the Patronageist would tell you… he's a kind of clown. If you think about it, almost every school class had – and still has, we believe – a funny guy who would sit at the back of the class, be the blackboard in lessons and make idiotic jokes by pulling out girls' hair or making ridiculous jokes. More or less like today's most famous comedians that Albania has.

Our wrestler is something like that. But with a difference. He makes his rounds at noble gatherings, regional and European summits, where he goes as a guest as a famous podcaster. The word comes, he takes Angela Merkel aside and tells her jokes, "once upon a time there was an Albanian, a German and an American..." . Or Ghorxhia comes up behind Meloni and suddenly hugs him, causing the bodyguards to put their hands on their pistols. While Ghorxhia laughs in embarrassment and signals to her, "leave the clown, he's harmless."

And despite the idiocy, they still invite him. It seems that so many dark clouds have gathered at the current summits that the leaders increasingly need a harlequin to lighten the atmosphere. Especially since he's also cute. Because when he invites them to his office in Tirana, he comes out in sweatpants that he hasn't washed in a week, and invites them to make baskets on an improvised basketball court. Then he shows them his colorful scribbles, which he calls drawings (half the trouble, because he used to call them paintings), but he explains that he doesn't have them for sale. No, not at all. But if they insist, they can buy them for 3 thousand euros a piece.

Well, by the way, he only declared his assets once, many years ago, and he only had 3 thousand euros, collected from various podcasts.

PS According to the latest news reports, people in Germany are also falling to the ground in droves from hunger. Some of the starving were able to whisper to foreign reporters: "We haven't eaten for two days... they beat us for nothing and left us without bread..."

Note: Patronazhisti is a satirical column without a podcast