TWO SOLUTIONS FOR PENSIONS / I Gati in a dilemma between increasing the retirement age and reducing the life expectancy of pensioners

TIRANA - The day I Gjati seriously decided to do something about pensions, was when some time ago, a socialist pensioner (that is, an elderly person who no longer worked, not that he was no longer a socialist), told him in confidence during one of the meetings with the basis: " You know that I don't change my vote, President. But if you can, do something about pensions, because we are bad. The best pension in the country is 400 thousand ALL. Try it out of curiosity, to live for a month with that much money! "

That same day I Gati called Bella Balluken. " Tell me a little, because you witch knows from complicated mathematics: How many euros are 400 thousand lek? "

With the official course, it is a little less than 4 thousand euros, Bella replied, after asking one of the deputy ministers who had a friend who had graduated in mathematics.

" Then listen here," ordered I Gjati, "You will keep me under surveillance, I want that next month I as a person do not spend more than 4 thousand euros, okay ?"

*** 

The experiment almost failed miserably. Even though he tried to eat a little, be careful with the lights and drink coffee at work, so as not to waste the house, I Gjati did not understand where the money came from. When Bella informed him that the fund ran out within the first 10 days, he was relieved.

" Poo poo poo how the money is gone! The poor pensioners are right. In this place, brother, you broke the 500 euro, I never saw where it went !"

And gathered his mind. Something had to be done about pensions, especially since 2025 came, the elections were approaching and the vote of those pharaohs was needed more than anything. Electoral meetings would begin and there was no way to get ahead of them.

Plus he had recently stepped on it: He had said something to the Doctor's Democrats over there in New York:

" Gentlemen, I am the first anti-communist in the country, but what should I do that the DP was taken over by the communists like the Doctor and I decided to go with the socialists, because at least those deserters are wise !"

Now he needed a little trick to convince his own people that he was there to make fun of those Democratic fans.  

First, he asked Bella to give him a crash course in pensions that the viper understood these things. Bella grabbed a sketchbook and some colored pencils, to make the explanation easier, and got to work.

***

After acquiring the pension scheme - Bella praised him that in the individual course he had taken, he was the first of the class - I Gjati started dating.

And when you don't want to, you don't want to. From the first meeting about pensions, he made a mistake. He told the pensioners as a compliment, that they were the people who understood politics better than everyone else, that's why they were with the socialists. It was a trick he had used the other time, so he was taken aback when this time the uncles rose in protest, as if to say: This is how we understand politics, kulish!   

They came to the rally in front of the prime minister's office, not with five or ten people, but with hundreds. Even the Doctor became jealous, as he saw them from the window, with the binoculars that SPAK had given him as an institution, with the note "Go there and see Istanbul". If only I had them as protestors, he thought to himself.

The Tall One was not understanding anything at all. The more he met and explained how he would try to fix the flawed pension scheme, the more discontent grew. Even on Fevzo's show, - as you know, Fevzo, in the time gap between writing two books, appears on television - it became famous when an old woman put Gjat on his shoulders for cardboard at the Klan studio.

" Try, Mr. Prime Minister, to live on 200, even 250,000 lek per month ," he said.

" Yes, I know, my lady, that it's difficult ," replied the Tall Man who, for some reason, had lost some 20 centimeters of height in that encounter, " I'm sorry for your trouble, because I tested it with twice the amount you say, and still not comes out I did an experiment to live on 4 thousand euros per month, and spent it in 10 days.... ".

There was hilarity in the studio that forced Fevzon to insert Sandri's commercials. Some pensioners had fainted at the unaffordable sum for untaught ears. While an old man had taken out his shoe and looked at Gjati, then he was looking for the shoe back because he remembered that he didn't have any others.

***   

The incident had to be rectified urgently. He called Piko Melesh (he affectionately called him Niku Akriliku) for help and asked him to organize a serious and dignified forum with pensioners, as the Korcars know. There he would tell them what the pension scheme was.

The meeting started very well. I Gjati was moved when not only did they not criticize him for those things he had said in New York, but they applauded him as they used to in the district party conferences, where comrades from the Central Committee also came. An enthusiastic pensioner was breathless with emotion:

" I am... as we were then, with our party... as the time was then, so we are again.... Long live you friend Edi, and other friends, but especially you... "

The Tall One was immensely amused. Okay, okay, he said, we know you're an old hand, but I want to explain pensions to you a bit. And he pulled out some colorful notes from what he had done with Bella:

Dear pensioners ! In order to fatten the pension scheme, so that you too can benefit from more pension in the distant future, mathematically there are two ways: Either we increase the retirement age, that is, you work longer; or reduce the life expectancy of scheme beneficiaries. Well, I ask you, can you work longer, tired and tortured at work? "

At that moment, the enthusiasm that took his breath away: " It's okay, friend Edi, let's reduce the life expectancy!" "

The hall erupted in great cheers for friend Edi, friend Piko Meleshi and other friends...    

NOTE: The Patronageist is a retirement satirical column that believes that if The Tall Tells his ten mega-businessman friends to declare their employees' salaries correctly, there is no need for these circuses.