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IT HAPPENS TO VES / Salianji tries to fabricate eavesdropping even inside the cell

2024-09-30 10:29:18Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Ervin Salianji

TIRANA / FIER / LOZHAN - As a by-product of the Albanian Soros left in the attempt, Henrik Skiles, - who produced clones of the liberal talk of the Chicago school and planted them in political parties and associations - Salianji in his beginnings had a concern. He was not finding a specialty of his own that would make him original and distinguishable from others. Bona Zhupa, the word goes, had found the profile pretty quickly: He specialized in loud-mouthed media denunciations with the unmistakable appearance of having just woken up, even if it was the afternoon.

At first, Salian thought he was suited to the role of a snail: He crawled gracefully behind the leader, looked and sounded like a High Gate eunuch, said yes to everything and left behind only a thin line of drool. But even though he didn't have to work hard for this role, because it came from his soul, he understood that this path was long and fruitless.

So he changed his style. The American developments within the Democratic Party also helped him for this. He started raising his voice and waving his index finger at the cameras; a photo appeared with fish in hand in front of the parliament; and what's with the drama, provoked the Great Grandfather himself, as I said, the Great Grandfather, appearing with a hoe in his hand at the democratic headquarters and shouting to Sali Lusha: Where is that other Sali, that rabid anti-American, where did you hide the villain from me!

***

But it turned out that all these were the trappings of childhood, transitory like adolescence. The area he found to be his favorite sector was the creation of fake eavesdropping, having people impersonate other people's voices. There was such a special talent in directing these skits that at one point Çmendina TV made an offer. But the proud and stooped boy from Lozhan cut them short: I don't leave political sacrifices even if I know I'll be stuck with a Range Rover like a kid for the rest of my life!

And so he decided to take over the authorship of Babale's sketch. In the beginning, when America still hadn't announced the catil-ferman for the Doctor, he went to press conferences together with Chief Lul and Alibeu. But these two, when they realized that they had entered a dangerous game with pseudo-eavesdropping, put aside their gluteal muscle and told Salianji: It's okay, you go out in front of the media, because you have a media presence, where are we? for blank screens!"

Some friends got tired of telling him that he had been in vain. Even Muç Nano himself addressed him fondly during a TV show: Or you moron, if they use you, you'll go to jail, you moron!

"Yes, well, even if I did prison, I will do it for my party," answered Salianji. And so it turned out.

*** 

The first night in Fier's prison cell was what it was. As Air BnB it was, it wasn't bad. But the moment he decided to put her to sleep for the sake of the party, he remembered that he had left on his jacket button, one of the micro-surveillance cameras he always carried with him, one for each garment. Very delicately, he asked to speak a little with the director of the prison, who would surely come to respect him as a deputy. But the director came only for two minutes. "Tomorrow tell me about every request you have," he said, "now sleep because you are tired."

Then Salianji gathered his mind to discredit the damn communist. He turned on the eavesdropper and began to speak: "Hey, director, how are you doing here?" It's a shame that they left you here in Fier, you deserve to be the general director of all prisons in the Balkans".

And he himself answered, changing his voice: "I have no hope with this thieving government." These steal the prisoners. They ask me to punish them, leave them without bread and pocket the surplus! Have you seen Fatmir Xhafa when you have lunch there in Tirana? He always asks for soup from Fier prison".

The next day, he gave the interception to the lawyers to take to the Doctor in Tirana...

Note: Patronageist is a pro-denunciation, anti-fake satirical column


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