DRASTICAL/ The doctor locks the National Council with a key: You want to run away and become a director at the Socialist Party, huh?

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SCIENTIFICLY IMPOSSIBLE/ Former supporters are regularly shocked as Lul Basha deceives them again

2024-08-26 15:48:36Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
A moment of seriousness from the Flying Dutchman

TIRANA - It was a difficult decision a few days ago, when those who had been sitting next to, behind and on the side of Luljan Basha, declared that they finally realized that Luli had deceived them this time, and gathered their minds to form a new party, without the thunderous presence of the eggplant-haired leader.

"It never occurred to us that it would work for us like this. He had not given any sign that he would do this behavior, "said the children who have been lied to, deceived and mocked by Basha, at least ten times each in the course of these years.

*** 

Well-informed voices say that since Dr. Penxherja picketed him to put him in charge of the DP here twenty years ago, he realized that Luljani was a born pehlivan.

"This Flying Dutchman is a high-caliber skunk," he told his daughter enthusiastically, when he found out that Luli came with a Dutch diploma that he never showed, "science has studied his type. The species is called Absentia colonnus vertebrae vulgaris. That is, it is a leaf that lacks a backbone, it is impossible to keep its word. Make it a point to put him as a candidate for succession if I pretend to be gone one day. He has deception in his blood, so he once thought that he would get me, he can't be beaten without deceiving even those with whom he will form a group to oppose me."

Actually, that's what happened. When Lilo Çepani complained to the doctor that Luli was deceiving her even about the watch, she meant it in the first sense of the word.

"Oh, doctor," he said, "if he did a coup for me for a lek, I would forgive him because we all came out for that job. You lied to me about the hour. I asked him once, as he was looking at the clock, and he told me in all seriousness, a quarter to five. In reality it was 3 twenty. It's unprecedented!"

***

Over the years, from one ministry to another, from one brother-in-law's affair to another, from one corner to another, with an inseparable smile on his face, Luljani refined the art of deception for the sake of deception. And the day that brought him the biggest smile, although he looked sad at first sight, was when the doctor lost the 2013 elections and resigned, winking at Luli. Erla cried so much, Jozefina sobbed that she finished all the beans, they all cried.

"Congratulations carrata, you will become the party leader, " said the doctor to Luli, "but be careful, with your head".

"Don't worry boss, I will act as we discussed," replied Luli, who meanwhile was thinking of the next schemes.

As the giant leader of the opposition, he thought that in order to appear menacing and serious, he should use the dramatic expression: "You were just walking over my body..." whenever he announced an unshakable decision. Decisions and promises were violated so regularly that if so many people had really passed over his body, Luljani would now have taken the form of a cigarette paper.

Yes, he didn't mind. He would laugh and clarify, "I didn't say it exactly like that, you forget the context...".

***    

Just as the doctor had predicted, Luljani was working feverishly on the next scheme. Together with Gjati, they convinced the Americans that the doctor should be removed from the political scene because he was hindering the new generation and the fate of the homeland was in danger. And when this happened and the doctor was non-gratis on top of the window, Basha's supporters in the Parliament became more numerous than ever.

"Now you will see the real Luli," they said to the democratic base, " that until now we were all under the hoof of that tyrant, the doctor."

Yes, the base, like Lilua, had eaten Luli's trick who knows how many times. The desolate Alibeu, along with Beiko and Lazarati, were tired of convincing people that the doctor's time had passed because America had put a black stamp on him. Few were those who believed it. Gaz Bardhi also joined them, but then Gaz was told to stay at the central headquarters, in Tirana, because they looked at him when he went down to the base, as if they wanted to beat him with a birch tree.

***

When the doctor's opponents lost the seal and logo of the party, Basha told them that they would form a new party, but first the court decision had to be appealed. "You start the organization," he said, "because I came."

This was Lulu's standard expression when cheating.

"Go, I'm here," "get ready, you're coming," "Start, I'll find you there," were his classic phrases, with which he lied even when they let him meet for a coffee.

There they realized they had no hope. They couldn't go back to the doctor, but they didn't want to either, because they had declared themselves pro-American. But they could not stay without expressing their disappointment with Luljani.

"We didn't know he was so deceitful," Alibeu, Bejko and the others said for the hundredth time, "he has completely disappointed us!"

PS Sources for Patronage list that after the irrefutable offer he received from the Zen Blueberry Trust, Luljani will spend some time as the leader of a group he invented himself, that of the Euro-Atlantic Democrats, and then he will retire with a smile last from the scene.

Note: The Patronageist is a slightly more serious satirical column than The Flying Dutchman 


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