MYSTERY / The Albanian government two weeks in Germany, the country slips on the money laundering blacklist!

2024-06-24 18:31:17Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The German chancellor (this guy on the left) asking the Albanian prime minister for help

BERLIN, DUSSELDORF - The majority of the Albanian government has been in Germany for two weeks, in implementation of the governing program and development agenda 2021-2031, solemnly announced by the former deputy prime minister Arben Ahmetaj. As everyone remembers, part of this agenda was also closely following the matches of the Albanian national football team in case it would qualify for the finals of the European football championship, EURO 2024.

Along with the prime minister, the main ministers of the cabinet and obviously, with the President of the Republic Barjam Bey, many socialist deputies were present in various German cities, who, by the internal order of the socialist president Edi Rama, replaced each other. in rotation, so as not to leave Albania completely empty.

But as football excitement grows, the Patronageist learns that a recent report by the global anti-money laundering and terrorist financing body, the FATF, has surprisingly put Germany on a money laundering blacklist, along with Myanmar, Haiti and South Korea. North.  


"I don't know what happened," Chancellor Olaf Scholz said in shock, "we do everything with a fiscal bill, with transparency, with rules. There must be some mistake here!”

But the FATF report left no room for doubt.

During the presence of the Albanian government in Germany, several public-private partnerships were mysteriously approved for the incineration of urban waste. On the German North Sea riviera, a flurry of tourist construction with 7-star hotels suddenly started, while dozens of building permits for tourist villages were granted in the Bavarian Alps.

A separate innovation was the video release of the German Minister of Infrastructure Andreas Scheuer with a protective cap on his head and a yellow vest, instructing the road engineers on the details of the works. For those who didn't mind, it fell on their heads with a ruler.

Meanwhile, two floating mega-generators that had been rented from Honolulu to supplement the increased consumption of the population during the European, were parked without ever being turned on in the port of Hamburg.

On the other hand, three German mayors, one after the other, were caught on secret videos performing obscene acts in their offices, one of them even with pierced panties.

A series of permits for high-rise towers appeared to have been signed overnight in major German cities, and no one could explain how it had happened.

But the strangest thing was the fantastic increase in the consumption of bananas by the German population within two weeks: Imports from Latin America had increased by 400%, while the famous German showman Arditus Gjebrenkopf did not stop advertising bananas in advertising spots.


It is learned that the FATF report has fallen like a bomb on public opinion. Chancellor Scholz's government, which received a strong blow in the European Parliament elections, has its days numbered. But Patronageist learns that since he has nothing to lose, the chancellor has asked the Albanian prime minister for advice.

"Dear Edi, you managed to remove Albania from the black list and put it in the gray list of money laundering. Give me some sense bro!"

The Albanian leader thought a little, then asked Olaf the son: "Well, do you have any hobbies for your free time?" What do you do? Can you draw?"

"In the fifth grade I was good at drawing, but then I quit ," Scholzi replied.

"Start again," Eddie ordered, " and open an exhibition in Berlin at the beginning of next week. You have to see if you didn't win the elections!"

Note: The patronage is a satirical column against the pollution of clean money