LINGUISTICS / Engineer Kazan Huri explains geopolitical developments in the Albanian language 

TIRANA - Invited to a TV show to talk about the latest developments in Albania, the region and the world, environmental engineer Kazan Huri stated yesterday that every detail, toponym and proper name related to today's geopolitical developments can only be explained through the Albanian language.

"Do you understand, gentlemen, that Albanian moves all the threads of the world? Here, Great Britain announced parliamentary elections. But who announced them? Prime Minister Rishi Sunak," stated Huri, and continued:

"Did you see that he appeared in front of the media there in the rain? Stay in the Rain, Rishi!” , he said, " then we come to the last name. Sunak explains himself in English: I can't take revenge on you, SunHak. But since the Prime Minister is of Indian origin, they don't pronounce the H, so it becomes Sunak. In short, the United Kingdom is run by someone who Lives in the Rain, but Whom You Can't Get Into!

Then Kazan Huri came closer geographically. " We have friendly Italy here in front of us. Where does this name come from? I tell you. In the old days, an Albanian from the village of Tale i Lezhë immigrated there. All the locals said: He of Tales. Thus, over time, the name Itales, Italy was fixed".

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According to Kazan Hur, US President Joe Biden's last name has three valid explanations.

"The first explanation is the bidet, which people remember is French, but they got it from the Illyrians. The second is Bidoni, because it is said that its ancestors were involved in the trade of cans. The third is Bedeni, which is known to be the part of the fortress wall where the soldiers used to guard. The more badanas the castle has, the more protected it is. Someone will say that Bedeni is Turkish, but they are wrong. The Turks wandered through the steppes when the Illyrian-Pelasgians built castles with batanas."

And Huri concluded: "In my opinion, Biden escaped all three meanings inside: Because a soldier who lives in a bidet, sometimes needs a bidet, and the water is brought to him in cans!"

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Another argument of Huri for the unattainable antiquity of Albanian is the very fact that Albanians "pronounce" the words.

"Why don't the Greeks have the expression "you made this word a little Greek", or the Italians, "you didn't Italianize this expression well"? Because they are new languages, invented with borrowings from Illyrian Pelasgian, " he declared.

Next, Kazan Huri crossed thousands of kilometers and landed in the Chinese capital, Beijing.

"I have said that Beijing comes from Peqin, but there is also a backup explanation, which also comes from the Greek language. When someone traveled around the world and then returned to his homeland, they asked him: Did you see a corner?, where d remained silent. Then the word was modified to Peken, Beijing".

According to Huri, in the old days the capital of Japan was a lonely village, where the few inhabitants never accepted other arrivals. "No land", they said, every time someone begged them to come and sit down. "Tok Jo", they refused, and Tokyo remained.

In the end, the environmental scientist of linguistics also explained his own name with scientific courage.

"I'm breaking down the meaning of my name, so you don't say that I take the world by mouth. By the way, dynja is not Turkish, but Albanian: Dy One, that is, two units, which symbolizes the plural, that is, many...

Then, the name Kazan contains a lot of philosophy inside. Have you heard the expression Ku Ka Za, s'Asht pa Gja? Kazan, that is, there is a voice, that's why I don't get tired of talking!"

Excitedly, Kazan addressed the panicked cameraman, "do you know the meaning of your craft? It means abundance: Ka, Merr, Aman, that is, Aman, take that there is plenty..."

Note: Patronageist is a Pelasgian satirical anti-charlatanist column