JOY / Festive arrest of the former minister on the occasion of the Prime Minister's birthday

2024-07-05 10:42:29Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

TIRANA - A joyful event took place on the morning of July 4, 2024, a few minutes after a group of ministers and short socialist deputies still without a file in SPAK, gathered at the prime minister to surprise Prime Minister E Gäta.

Sources for Patronage list that while I Gjati was blowing out the candles of the 60th anniversary and fellow fighters of progress were singing "Tanti Auguri a Te", Radio London reported that the only long-time former minister of the socialist cabinets, Ilir B. Vetë, had been arrested. SPAK, which we love, threw away the handcuffs because it had abused EU funds on restaurant bills.

"Well done," said Mom, "where did he go, so tall, almost as tall as you?" You were really friends and you played basketball in your youth, but he had every opportunity to be shorter."

For her part, Bella Ballukja stroked the tree: "It was a smart move, boss. Thus Brussels also falls comfortably. The millions of the budget were not enough for him, but he also wanted to steal the pennies of the EU?"

I Gjati spoke thoughtfully: "I didn't arrest him, witch, but the party did." Some people have been greedy!"

Although he ate the piece of cake with taste under the background of Sherif Merdani's songs, as he used to at Artet, I Gjati felt embarrassed.

He wiped the sweat with the paper on which he had written the speech of the late Kadare and said: "Leave now. And let the arrest of Ilir B. serve as a warning that anyone who eats kiwi behind my back should throw off the shackles themselves".
Yes, the ministers assured him, "we have always eaten face to face, looking each other in the eye. Never behind the back".

Once he was alone, the Tall One sighed. He remembered how many birthday gifts Ilir B had given him over the years. And here, for a jubilee marked as the 60th anniversary, he also gave himself a gift.

"Friends don't come anymore like they used to," he said to himself, "but what did you want with the Brussels funds, man? Mamica was right. And I told the pharaoh, leave the guests' money, ours is enough for us!"

A few kilometers away in the air, in a luxury hotel near a lake, a pair of hands trembling with enthusiasm were moistening the tip of a copying pencil with saliva, to write a letter to SPAK.

"Dear SPAK! I heard with indescribable joy that the defendant Ilir B. has been arrested for terrible abuses of restaurant bills. Take the bandit to jail, because he took our erzi across Europe. You have my full support.

PS On this occasion, I remind you that according to the Constitution, the order of arrest of Illyrians is closed, so you should switch to other names. With respect, yours, Ilir M."

In the courtyard of the Socialist Party, a group of veterans led by Comrade Gramoz, just heard the news that the former Minister of Health, the enemy of the people Ilir B. was gassed by the internal branch of SPAK, they took to the song :

Oh, what joy the SP has,
Ilir B is arrested.
Let's count our joy.
We will sing for Security!

Note: Patronageist is a satirical column expensive in bran and cheap in flour