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EXCITING/ After the failed assassination attempt, Rama offers the Trump family the island of Corfu 

2024-07-17 23:03:00Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Rama with the Trump family discussing the rule of law

TIRANA/SURREL/SAZAN – The Prime Minister of Tirana, Durrës and all of Albania, Edi Rama, was deeply shocked by the news that the American Republican candidate for President, Donald Trump, had been assassinated during a campaign meeting. He immediately called Jared Kushner and asked for Ivanka's number.

"I can't give you Ivanka's number, because you are the devil ," Jared told him, " but I have it here, he told us."

Eddie expressed his deepest condolences to the girl, along with his joy that Donald had escaped safely.

"Listen Ivanka, I have you as my ministers, Eliska, Ogertka and Belindka. Even now that you reminded me, we once had a leader named Lenka. Longevity does not become short-lived. Tell Don not to worry, because after dramatic events comes election victory. I was also killed by four people here in Tirana, and then I won the elections. Thank you for saving me with half an ear".

Ivanka thanked him and emphasized that this message takes on double value, because it comes from a left-wing prime minister.

"Who, me on the left?", responded Rama, "the left is this blacksmith I nailed to the top of the window, Berisha, a pure communist. I was right-wing and I don't change my Occidental beliefs, understand".        

In the end, Rama suggested to Ivanka: "When you close these affairs and take the presidency, take your husbands and let's finish this work of Sazan!"

*** 

But after hanging up, Eddie began to think. All this American president, he said to himself, and I give him only an island palo where there is not a palm of soil, and where only thorns grow.

He called Belindaka. "Listen," he said, "you will study my map carefully and you will find me a lucky island for Ivanka." Sazan is funny, it's not a gift but change."

Belindka studied the matter thoroughly. Picketed Shengjin Island, Lezha Island, the four gorges of Ksamil, Pelican Island in Karavasta... none of them worked.

He suddenly remembered. He called Rama.

"I found it boss," he told him, " in front of Saranda is a giant island that sits idle." I have seen it myself. There is no concession, no strategic investment. I also asked Oltka Xhaxhka, she told me that there is no business interest there. Why not give it to the Trumps? It's called Corfu!"

***

Rama liked the idea. Now, indeed, Corfu was in a disputed geographical position and Greece could also claim it, but he had an ace under his belt. He would make Qirjako an offer he couldn't refuse.

He called Frrok Çupka and asked him for Miçotaqka's number. He gave it immediately.

The bell rang on the other end. " Hello, Qirjako, where are you, you figure?" I'm Eddie. Look, I need Corfu because that's how I work. If I release Fredi Beleri to go and be sworn in as an MEP in Strasbourg, will you give it to me? You have a thousand islands, what a mess one less!”

The patronage officer has no information about what answer Qirjakua gave him, but the next day Beleri was giving interviews from Strasbourg....

Note: Patronageist is an island satirical column...  

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