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THREAT/ France in crisis, Rama warns Macron: I own Tavo and I will not hesitate to use it!

2024-07-11 17:20:21Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Rama staring at the deserted Macron

TIRANA/PARIS/WASHINGTON – The political chaos in France has worried the Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama, who declared yesterday at the NATO summit that France is an important country for the Alliance and the European Union, therefore we should not sit idly by.

Sources for the Patronageist claim that Rama praised the French electorate that prevented the extreme right from coming to power, but criticized the same electorate for not giving enough votes to the left.

"The French voter is politically immature," Rama said, " even if Le Pen had won, I would have given him some of my paintings from the first days, from the ones I draw on concession decisions, and she would become super leftist. Look at my friend Meloni in Italy, who is getting ready to enter the Socialist International!"

But Rama was especially critical of President Emmanuel Macron, accusing him of getting the situation out of control. At this moment, those present at the summit witnessed a heated episode.

***

Speaking about Macron, who kept his head down in shame, Rama declared that Emanuel, instead of putting on eyebrows, put out his eyes.

"I also told him when he came to Tirana, don't obsess over your eyebrows, they are an overrated detail. Have you seen Vangjel Dule's eyebrows, I said, but Fredi Beler's? They have two thick fingers, but that's where they ended up. Hey, I told you so, didn't I?" and turned to Macron.

The deserted Emanuel nodded in embarrassment: " Eh, you told me, you told me, but who do you tell!"

Rama continued, shaking his finger: " But why don't you, we will deal with you at every summit?" Nay, that's gone now," and addressed the hall:

"Dear gentlemen! I also had an electoral crisis in the Himara area. My Greek friends wanted to take it. You know what I did? I used a secret weapon. I became, as they say, a Greek gift. Take it, I said, it's yours. Here, Vangjel Tavo, who is Greek, will run and win. Enjoy it!"

NATO leaders, who were debating what weapons to give Ukraine to fight the Russians, opened their ears when they heard about the secret weapons. Rama raised his voice: "Well, I'm telling Macron to solve the electoral and political crisis in France, then come and give us some sense here. Otherwise, I own Yours and will not hesitate to use it!”

***

The Patronage's sources could not learn in detail what happened next. But some voices say that Macron put his hands on his head and started crying, "Nooo, Tavon nooo!"

Some other leaders kindly intervened and calmed him down. " Good, good, because I don't use Tavon Edi," and they winked at the Albanian Prime Minister.

But in the meantime, it is learned that there have been other cases when Rama has threatened to use the secret electoral weapon Vangjel Tavo.

Thus, at the time of the PD leadership crisis between Lulzim Basha and Sali Berisha, Rama ordered the parties to find a solution, otherwise he will release Tavon. Tavo was also one of the reasons why Lilua and Mona broke up.

On the other hand, Bulgaria, which is experiencing several elections in a row without being able to produce a stable majority, received the last warning last week. President Rumen Radev made it clear to the political class of the country that if they do not find internal balance, he will borrow from Albania the attacking midfielder Vangjel Taveski.

While the reason why the British overwhelmingly decided to bring the Labor left to power, was precisely the Albanian threat that if the crisis continued, official Tirana would release Tavo.

PS During the summit proceedings, it is learned that Rama was taken aside by the American president, the retired Joe Biden. "Listen Eddie, " Biden told him, " you know I have an election now in November. Will you give me yours as long as I earn it, and I will return it?" Rama thought a little and said:

"As soon as I finish work with Himara, I will give it to you. I guarantee, with Tavo, you have victory in the pan!"

Note: Patronageist is a satirical column obsessed with secret weapons and pans


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