DRASTIC/ The new season, Fevzo will not accept any guest on the show without taking the nitrate test

TIRANA, former Kinostudio - In an unusual gesture for his temperament and profession as a super-moderator, only moderate cannot be called the last decision of the TV host of his own TV show, which is universally known by the stage name Fevzo.

Sources for Patronageist say that the decision was taken in coordination with the TV owner Sandër, as a sign of protest for the state in which Albanian agriculture is today.

Simply put, no guest on Fevzo's show this new TV season will be allowed into the studio without first taking a nitrate test!

***

As patronageists remember, the story began this summer, with Fevzo, who was exhausted from traveling around the world and dancing barefoot with the Masai African tribes, where he had found a small camera with batteries, the size of a mobile phone, from Palasa. which had a type of spear with a point at the end.

"This spear will be in place of the antenna, right ?" said Fevzo, with his sharp journalistic instinct, to the man who brought it to him.

"No, you giant ," replied the mysterious man, "you stick this spear in a fruit or greens, and it shows you the nitrate level. It is an unprecedented camera. Give us a test," and put a mango in front of him.

"Ah, I ate this variety of mangoes in the Dominican Republic. Have you been to the Dominican Republic? Fevzo asked his friend.

"No, you fool, I'm not as well-travelled as you are, sir." The maximum was four years in Ecuador, in a prison... high security hotel. Naaa, do you see how much nitrate is taken out? Zero. Focus now on this Lushnje tomato: Three thousand!"

Fevzo said: "Why don't you say that we eat poison?" Yes, this is terrible. I will make a video and post it on my social networks, so that the world will know how radical reforms are made!"

The mysterious friend patted his shoulders: " You can do it brother! And they asked about these devices, they are 100 euros each. No matter how many are sold, you have 20 percent".

"Well, I don't care about money," Fevzo interrupted, " because I have properties all over the Balkans, you were worrying about what we eat, what we put in our stomachs. Black people say. How much did we leave, 25%?"

***

In reality, Fevzo, whose friends used to call him "Blendi with Six Grandmothers", does not really need money. The six grandmothers were shot with large properties: one was descended from the Vërlacs, another from the Vrions, a third from the Toptans, another from the Karagjorgjevics of Serbia, and the last two there from the Savoys of Italy. It is even said that his old friendship with Andi Bushati was broken at the exact moment when Fevzo told Bushati in confidence: " I think I got a grandmother from Bushatlli!"

On the other hand, Fevzo and Sandri are not directly affected by Myzeqesa's nitrate farming either, because each of them has contracted a personal gardener from the Philippines and consumes their own private vegetables.

"I have a problem here, " Fevzo explained to Sandri - who, since he came here from Lezha three decades ago, has drastically reduced the volume of the bush with hair on top of his head, where thrushes used to nest - " we have our gardens , but the guests certainly buy vegetables and fruits in the bazaar. With their bodies full of nitrates, they enter the studio, talk and shout, and unload all the poisons on us".

***

And so it was. Fevzo's first live show was last week. They had placed two trusted men at the entrance of the Klan, with spear nitrate apparatus in hand, who declared to the guests that they had orders to stick them in their bodies to do the nitrate test.

But apparently, the lack of tact caused the first guests of the new season to run away, telling the guards: " That cell phone with a tip, go and stick it to Fevzos!"

This was the reason why the first show of this season was made with some twenty-year-olds that Fevzo found at the last minute. When they asked what that machine was, they were told it was a test for Covid.

Note: Patronageist is an anti-nitric satirical column with a normal number of grandmothers