DOUBTS ARE CONFIRMED/ All state institutions are dedicated, professional and serious

TIRANA - What was suspected for a long time, has recently received successive confirmations and no one can deny it anymore: Yes, state institutions are dedicated, professional and serious in their work.

A series of press releases from various state offices have asserted that in addition to the above definitions, they also suffer from transparency, efficiency and speed in decision-making.

***

One of the last institutions that humbly accepted them (yes, our offices also suffer from modesty), was the Ministry of Education, after the unprecedented scandal of selling diplomas to students who have never seen the door of the school. stated that Te Mençmi university college (Wisdom) has actually been under investigation for a long time and it will not be opened again.

"The Ministry remains committed to, with transparency and commitment, advance its mission for the education of the few Qurras left in Albania ," says the press release.

Meanwhile, the former Minister of Education Evis Kush?, who was unfairly involved in the scandal, declared that she did not receive any coffee, nor any gifts, from the Italian owners of the Te Mençmi college, who bought the university from an Albanian couple who did not have never sold diplomas. The former minister in question, who once became a teacher at the university of Cërrik with an average of 6, said that the ministry does not deal with university accreditations, that's why they didn't give her anything.

Also, the Director of Accreditations, who saw fit to associate the name Shqiponja with the Italian variant Aquila, insisted that she has never received any 1,200 euro bag of the 'La Voce del Padrone' brand from the Italians. She said that only on one occasion, she transparently accepted a 5-euro bag from the Çam Market, which happened to have 1,200 euros inside. Ponja demanded that the Italian prosecutor's office, which is investigating the case, apologize urgently.

***

The typical institution of professional commitment is the State Police.

In every press release , related to various cases of accidents or criminal events, the police informs that "After a professional investigative work", "the state police arrived in record time", "the investigative team is working with dedication to the yellowing of the circumstances of the event ", or "after careful work, operational data was provided... " etc.

Even veteran journalists may very rarely have come across police notices in their work, where it is said that "investigations were carried out as soon as possible", "the police arrived after three days" , "or the investigative group introduced them with snacks and brandy to the club opposite".  

***

Civil emergencies are another institution that, through press releases, inadvertently exposes all the vices and evils in its work. In the case of fires during the summer, the word comes, "Firefighters immediately arrive at the scene", "thanks to the dedication, it became possible to quickly isolate the flames" , or the most spicy statement in the history of fire journalism, "the fire has been brought under control" ".

In 102% of cases, getting the fire under control means letting it burn itself out until it's done, so they don't touch it at the seder.

This heart-in-hand acceptance of vices and institutional defects seems to have also infected certain individuals in the media. One of the most cheerful is the survey expert Zalo Foshnja. In each data announcement, Zalua begins his writing with "after a rigorous, serious, selfless and patient scientific work by me and the staff, it turns out that Edi Rama wins...".

Note/ Patronageist is a serious and rigorous satirical column