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RECORD / Build the Doctor's Birthday Cake, only with candles!

2024-10-15 17:32:10Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
RECORD / Build the Doctor's Birthday Cake, only with candles!
A partial view of the Doctor's cake

TIRANA - Today, a new trend has been added to the innovative spirit of Albanian artists, who are increasingly inclined towards surprises and originality. Nor are we talking about massive paintings made of bottle caps, landscapes formed with nails, still lifes made of toothpicks or Monalisas made of ear cotton. These Guinness Book records have already been surpassed.

The occasion was ideal: the Doctor's 80th birthday. "Boronica" patisserie received an urgent order for a special cake. The composition was thought to be simple and functional: The base of the cake would be sponge cake, the cream with eggs from Viçidol's Kreshnik chickens - from those that need four hours to boil - while the jam layer would be made with blueberries, plus the original grains of the precious fruit. , sprinkled on top. Accordingly, an 8 and a 0 from the candle were enough to symbolize the Doctor's years.

***

But the situation got complicated on the way. The first to start the violence was Nul Moka. He took ten special candles to the pastry shop and said to the master: " You will stick these on the cake from me" . The desolate master tried to explain that he would make the candles with numbers.

"Mr. Zero, what if we put Zero in your name? The doctor will surely understand that Nul, Zero, is the same thing!".

"Leave that, " Nuli interrupted, " we don't have enough of this bloodthirsty government that imprisons us and cuts off our right to speak, we also lack you now!"

One after the other, the patisserie was visited illegally by former circle mates, Baz Gardhi, Laki Luciano, Albana Boksi, Belo Këllefi, etc. Each left his own quantity of candles, with the express order that they should be properly embedded in the body of the innocent cake.

Even the Patronage learned that in the dark, wearing an old overcoat and a cap sitting on his eyes, a tall man with aubergine hair sticking out from the side of his hat left his portion of candles in the pastry shop. He had a smile that could not be separated from his portrait.

"Please," he said to the master, " put these Euro-Atlantic candles of mine on the cake, with the note 'Your daughter has started hanging out with an unemployed masquerade.' A friend who wants you well'."  

To the pastry chef's complaint that with so many candles, there would be no room left for the dessert itself, everyone replied that he could make the cake as big as he wanted.

"Do you remember the independence cake ?" they told him, " when did he play with great and small joy, young men and women, Albanians and minorities, Roma, Egyptians, Gollobordas and the needy classes?" Well, compared to that, your mission is very modest."

***

When he thought about it once more, the pastry chef calmed down.

"Right," he said to himself, "thank goodness they didn't charge me the independence cake." This house arrest cake is five to none. Plus the blueberries were brought to me for free. I will make it bigger and this work is worth it".

So, on the afternoon of October 15, a magnificent cake with 80 candles stuck in its unprotected pulp, arrived in Doctor's Alley. Supporters opened up to make way. However, with so many candles, the entrance of the palace did not darken the cake.

They cut it on the side with a knife and distributed the pieces to the Democrats. But then the elevator didn't take him. They cut the desert work of art again. Those present, as if by magic, took out some buckets and basins, and filled them with pieces of sweets. Saddened, everyone shouted "victory" because they remembered the Independence cake.            

Next, the cake was cut short again because it couldn't make the turn for the Doctor's entrance. When it was cut for the last time at the door of the house, only a bunch of 80 candles remained.

"Doctor, another hundred, " Nuli told him, "only the candles are left, the democrats are eating the blueberries."

The doctor muttered: "I told you what the democrats will eat, but thank you for being an educated man...". 

Note: The Patronageist is a satirical pro-pie and pie column, but not like these today. The ones Olympia used to do were just right.


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