NOT JUST GAZA/ Albania ready to send troops to Minnesota, says acrobat leader

 Kliko këtu për të tjera
Voxpress:

LATEST/ After Ismail Qemali, I Gjati brings out other historical characters!

2025-01-03 09:42:18Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Tall with Malo greeting Georgia Meloni

TIRANA/VLORA/JANINA – The walk that Gjati took through Tirana to Ismail Bey Vlora on the eve of the new year 2025 was the headline of the European media, from the Age of Enlightenment onwards. Because thanks to technology and artificial intelligence, communication is two-way: Not only can current leaders choose to communicate with historical figures from the past, but even the ancient press can be informed about events that will happen hundreds of years later.    

One of the first signs of jealousy is said to have come from Napoleon Bonaparte, who made French President Macron famous with an article published in the newspaper Moniteur on January 2, 1811.

"Emanuel, may you have a drop of ishala, " the general and then the famous emperor complained, "your friends celebrate the greats of their history, show them their achievements and hold them in the palm of their hand, while your hand trembles for a drop of raki!"

But since this is not the place to list the complaints of the world's giants of political history against their successors by country, let's focus on I Gjati, who, according to reliable Patronazhist sources, was not satisfied with just Malo Bey in his tourist guide to Albania.

***

I Gjati showed special respect for Ali from Tepelena, the contact he secured through Tërmet, who has some cousins ??in Ioannina. The video footage shows Të Gjati showing Ali Pasha the renovation of the Tepelena castle, the new Kardhiq road that is due to open in the near future to Delvinë and Saranda, as well as the palaces of the prime minister's office in Tirana.

The Tall One complained to Ali that someone had built a phantasmagoric wooden structure dressed as a vertical forest next to the prime minister's office, blocking the sun.

"I have nothing to do with it, I can't ruin it because it has permission, and it has spent 4 million euros," I Gjati told him.

The 80-year-old man replied: "Don't ruin it, I was taking it for myself and cutting off that Yazidi's head, you idiot! Are you or aren't you the pasha of this vilayet?"

Next, I Gjati took Esad of the Toptans out for a walk. After stopping for a coffee at the former fortress turned market, they headed to Belgrade, where Esad has a street named after him.

"Today's king, Alex, is a great friend of mine, " Tall One modestly confessed to Esad, "the only thing he loves is that he is two centimeters shorter than me, the pharaoh. I told him to trade some land with Kosovo so he wouldn't grow taller, but aha, he's still a dwarf ." The two friends exchanged their memories of Paris.

"Where Avniu killed you, near the Continental Hotel, a little further down, I used to sell fake paintings and icons," said the Tall One nostalgically, "I had a good time in Paris."

"While I don't, " Esad muttered.

***

Eager to exploit the technology to its fullest, I Gjati decided to link up with the Illyrian Bato, leader of wild uprisings against the Romans.

"Come on, my dear," he said to Batos, " what did you want with all those wars with Rome? She's easier to get her head on. Listen, listen to how to do it: You approach Rome from behind secretly when you have a summit, throw your hands around her neck and kiss her on the gills! There's nothing you can do there, she'll surrender. That's what I did to Meloni, and ever since then, all the leading women of Europe have been waiting with bated breath to see if I approach them from behind secretly!"

In another time travel, I Gjati proposed to Queen Teuta that she put aside pirate attacks on Roman ships and start working as Minister of Defense.

“ I had another Teutë in Defense,” he said, “ but she went into politics to find a husband, then she started giving away military ports for hotels, and she even got a strategic investor permit for herself, you idiot!”

But at the moment he was making this offer to poor Teuta, out of nowhere, inside the video, Bella Ballukja's own hand appeared, delicately grabbing Teuta by the hair and yanking her out of the video.

"Get out of here, you slut!" Bella shouted at Teuta, " I can't stand Spirodhalla's nonsense that she makes me look like a Passionate Llapa, I missed you too!"

***

Since the artificial intelligence program has not yet been perfected, I Gjati had only one other opportunity to connect with the heroes of the past. Of course, he had Skanderbeg in mind. He would tell him at length how he had once painted the palaces of Tirana, how he had turned Lana and Park Rinia into identities, how he had created electronic Albania, where the entire state had been computerized and now thieves did not tire of stealing and burning paper records from one office to another, but hacked the entire system in five minutes… But he stopped himself. He thought about how Kënua would feel when he saw the mountains of Kruja, pit after pit, full of lime factories and cement factories…

Forget it, he said to himself, I'll think of another character...

PS At this moment, the sequences of Të Gjatit's latest historical video are showing a sweet conversation between him and Cleopatra of Egypt in his art studio in Surrel, while his wife nervously knocks on his door from outside, but no one answers.

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column more inclined towards natural intelligence, because with artificial intelligence you will get stuck somewhere.   


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

Video

SHIKO KANALIN NE YOUTUBE
×