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OPPOSITION / The Botanical Herbarium, the Museum of Natural Sciences and the Geology Museum join the 26 Doctoral Parties

2025-03-09 19:09:16Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

OPPOSITION / The Botanical Herbarium, the Museum of Natural Sciences and the

TIRANA - The avalanche of opposition forces united to overthrow the narco-regime of the Long One was joined yesterday by new arrivals, Patronazhisti learns.

The coalition of 26 parties led by the Doctor has decided to consider the public requests of the Museum of Natural Sciences, the Museum of Geology and the Botanical Garden to join the powerful opposition alliance with the meaningful title:

"Let's make Albania Great again like in 1996 and half of '97, combined with March 15, 2008 and a little bit of January 21, 2011."

It seems that the spirit that the new political anti-narcotics cooperation has inspired has infected not only individuals and political entities, but also institutions that at first glance do not give the impression that they are interested in politics. Especially since in their overwhelming majority, they are composed of objects, or other non-human living beings and former living beings.

But it seems that not only this suffering people, but also innocent objects on museum shelves, have been fed up with the closure of Tik-Tok and the Sorosites who are still walking around Tirana in Serbian.

*

"We have suffered enough from the communist regime, now their children and grandchildren are coming after us," he declared in outrage from the Museum of Natural Sciences, the skeleton of a persecuted Mediterranean whale that carries a sad story.

The whale was executed by the communists in 1963 after being mistaken for a Soviet submarine. The communists made a film about this called "Surrat m'surrat", where the whale was made into a real submarine, while the role of the brave sailor who defeated the Soviets was played by a young man who later became an anti-communist, then a leftist, then a doctor, but who always remained Imam Bajyldi.

"Even though I've been reduced to a handful of bones, I hope for an Albania where they don't kill you in vain, for whale blubber. It's our turn! Victory, Tavarish!" the skeleton declared enthusiastically.

*

The call of a dried poplar leaf was also an exciting one.

"Hello friends. I am a modest part of the botanical garden, the museum section. When I saw the photo of the new Doctoral coalition group, this excellent herbarium of the rarest species of Albanian politics, I felt proud that I, object no. 131 in the botanical garden herbarium, with the modest name Genus Populus Vulgaris, am not alone in this world of poplars."

The withered poplar, on behalf of all the leaves and teas of the museum, demanded that the entire opposition join forces to bring to power fresh energy, new flows, intellects uncontaminated by the chronic kleptomania of transition.

"For me, if we win, I don't want anything," the former leaf assured, "just a dose of chlorophyll every now and then, God willing, I'll be green once again."

*

The most dramatic message was that of a piece of chrome ore, speaking on behalf of the Geology Museum.

"Listen gentlemen! I'm a little old, my friends were exported from China to America, but I decided to stay, because I feel sorry for this country. I've seen the Pleistocene, the Cretaceous period, the horrors of the Jurassic era... Imagine, when I was created, Fatos Nano was still in power. But governments like this one of the Tall Ones have never caught my eye. Maybe because I've been 2,000 meters underground. So let's eradicate it, expel it, bring to power the new blood, the hope of the future, the breeze of spring, the nursery of Albanian politics and its chief sprout, the Doctor!"

Note: Patronažisti is a satirical column that believes that embalmed politicians and embalming are not the same thing. As for the whale, its story is 100% real


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