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BACKGROUND/ How Zegjinja from Roskotec was elected as a candidate for MP 

2025-04-10 18:34:46Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
BACKGROUND/ How Zegjinja from Roskotec was elected as a candidate for MP 
Zegjineja and her friends ambushing Baz Gardhi on the side of the road where the cars from Tirana come from

TIRANA/FIER/ROSKOTEC – When Bella first proposed Zegjine's name as a candidate for deputy from Myzega to Të Gjati, he did not hide his skepticism, even though he himself had been looking for anonymous, young candidates who were not even known to his own relatives.

"I don't know, witch, it doesn't seem contemporary to me," he said, "even 26 years old, even Zegjine, something is off to me. It's like she lacks color, Onufri's red, you know what I mean?"

And since he had little time available, The Tall One began a loud onomastic meditation.

"If her name was Zeqine, I understand that it's the feminine of Zeqo. Even if it was a thin one, even better. And if her name was Zengjin, meaning rich, I understand that too, because you, Bella, are a Zengjin after all. But this grafting 'in carne - in pesce', doesn't work at all."

And he asked Bella for details on how and why she chose Zegjinena.

What he heard amazed him.

***

We were at a civil emergencies meeting in the municipality of Roskotec, Bella began the story, "just there, you know. A debate broke out about emergencies, and at one point this chick got up and said to someone: Look, with what you're saying, in the gasm that characterizes the gluteal muscles I'm noticing a dynamic with an expanding direction as a result of the vocabulary and ideological misery of your proposal!

I was taken aback and asked her what she meant. “In technical terms, I mean that this guy broke our b…!” Zegjineja said, and that's when I realized her intellectual capacity! These assets should not be wasted.”

The Tall Man's pupils dilated, as they usually did when he was surprised, and he changed his mind instantly.

"Let's take partisans! You're both sly and erudite at the same time. As for the name, it doesn't bother us. Even your long name, Belinda, could be interpreted by someone as Belaja e Linda, but that doesn't hold true, right?"

And she saw it in the blink of an eye. " Yeah, boss, go away, " Bella said embarrassedly and gathered her files and left.

***  

Overjoyed, the young lawyer Zegjine launched her electoral campaign, determined to stand out as much as possible. She raised the bar high and, among her opponents, singled out Baz Gardhi himself as her target, just as Ardi Bidoni in Vlora launched a direct duel with the Doctor, without accepting any rank below.

This was the moment Zegjineja became nationally known. With her diverse vocabulary of 120 words in sunny weather (it is scientifically known that vocabulary shrinks in bad weather) and with the goal of becoming a zengjin, the lawyer would gather some high school students and stage, in a pumpkin-shaped form, a video where she would mouth Gardhi i shkëtë.

"You heard, my grandmother, my sacrifice, Baz Gardhi has cursed us ," Zegjineja began her speech, and the girls were busy, just like their great-grandmothers, knitting woolen socks for the partisans. Only these girls, because they had no idea about spears, and didn't want to ruin their nails, were busy looking at their cell phones or writing down the words on a pad like beads for their candidate friend.

*** 

The videos went viral. At first, Zegjineja was worried, because she had just gotten over the flu, but they told her that viral was a good word. Then it started to hit Gardhi even harder, who is now afraid and doesn't even go near the Myzeqesë fence. A couple of times he went down to Fier i ziu, traveled at night under the false name Dash Sula, held some illegal meetings and left before dawn.

Bella, meanwhile, is proud of Fier's list. Because in addition to getting her people into safe places, she has chosen the rest based on rare names, like Maldrita, Ramion, Kiduina and Asflorar. But above all, she is proud of Zegjinena. Because she remembers herself when she wanders from construction site to construction site and gives instructions to engineers about the five-year-old's works.

“After all,” she says when asked, “Myzeqe has a tradition of producing prominent politicians, taking them from the cowsheds straight to the Politburo!”  

Note: Patronažisti is a satirical column that has nothing against the Zengjins, it is enough that they have the erudition and aesthetic sophistication of Zegjins.            


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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