FASHION/ The spring politician brings all the charm, elegance and combination to the campaign

TIRANA/UTRECHT – With a cream-colored Hilfiger sweater thrown over his shoulders as if to provide warmth to his Barocco Sea shirt, which lay spilling over his Dockers trousers and went perfectly with his Louis Vuitton sneakers, the spring politician Gjelbërim Basha got off the plane from Utrecht ten days ago and inhaled the dusty air of Rinas. He needs to spend some time with the Albanian villagers who are out of breath, because the electoral campaign is starting and the local aborigines have not yet realized that the campaign can also be conducted virtually, with videos and messages from afar.

"How old-fashioned they are, mon dieu," he sighed to himself, but he had made up his mind back in Holland that he would blend in with the masses this month, like a simple boy of the people.

Of course, he would dress sporty, but always meticulously following the spring-summer 2025 collections, according to the contracts he had with the most expensive fashion companies. On this occasion, he hoped to also influence the spread of the Western spirit in Paskuqan, Kamëz, Myzeqe and Martanesh.

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He had his first meeting with the young men. With a plastic mocha cup in his hand, he ran his hand over his eggplant-colored hair, styled in a Wall Street style, gave one of his irresistible smiles, and said in confidence to the guys and gals who had their cell phone cameras on:

"I'll tell you a secret, but let's keep it between us. Before I came from the Netherlands, the company 'Victoria's Secrets' had proposed to me to open a department for men, called 'Victor's Secrets', where I would be the main model. But I refused. I told them 'get out of here after the elections, because now I have Albania to worry about'. We can't leave the country in the hands of thieves!"

And with an elegant gesture, the Prince of Spring took the Serengeti brand glasses from the slit of his shirt on his chest, and put them on his eyes.
“Look, even nature has turned green with our arrival. Spring is hope and optimism, oxygen and adrenaline, as Ralph Loren says. Although I was a little windy,” and turned to his assistant Orjola Las Pampas, “but please, take out that Nordstrom cashmere scarf for me. It's right there in my Hermes bag. Mercie, cherie!”

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The ambassador of political grace and charm is holding a series of physical meetings with local dignitaries, stopping by random shopkeepers to talk to them about SPAK and Rama and Berisha who should be in prison.

"Do you see how they dress, like provincials? One goes out in a shalwar and the other, even in danger, falls asleep in a shirt and tie. If Coco Chanel knew, she would be rolling in her grave. These are all for prison, sir!" said the Grand Chamberlain of men's fashion, and the shopkeepers nodded in approval.

Among the many campaign promises, the Greens have especially emphasized the adoption of strict laws that will prohibit the combination of earth colors with shades of navy blue.

"You will understand that it is impossible for us, madame," the charmer addressed an old woman in Berat, "you cannot put those colors together, it is a great crime!"

"You're right, son," said the bewildered old woman, looking around for help, "these people are intent on stealing. They're drinking the poor man's blood."

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But the most points, the male class standard is winning with the short videos with which he challenges the prime minister to halldup and oriental. After a crash course in the Tirons dialect, the Greens are reaping success with their dialectal exclamations that, according to polls, have already secured them a seat in parliament. Among their sophisticated vocabulary, phrases such as "Ramee, ho me? Çere bohet kshu me? Ku i ke çunat me? Kan ra n'burg eee?" etc. etc. stand out.  

Despite the intensity of the campaign, in the evening the Count of Color Combinations does not forget to update himself with the newest spring trends. Sources for the Patronage claim that he has been particularly attracted to the latest classic arrivals from the houses of Gucci and Zegna, while Fendi and Kenzo have completely disappointed him.

However, confidential information suggests that with the end of the campaign, all likelihood is that the Prince of Spring will transform into his natural state, the Summer Prince.  

Note: Patronazhist is a pro-combination satirical column