ART-CULTURE / Tirana Circus returns strongly with new acts

TIRANA – A spectacular opening of the new artistic season was last week for the renovated and revived Tirana circus. With important guests from all over Europe, the performance on May 16 – although a rainy day – also served as the opening of the tourist season. The circus could not have made sense without the giant tent erected right behind Skanderbeg, which was assembled in record time.

The absolute protagonist was undoubtedly the circus's chief butler and head of the Festival Committee, I Gjati, who - unlike other times, when he took a few pencil tips out of his jacket pocket, wore pajamas on top and sweatpants on bottom, went out in shalwar (since he had wandered around that neighborhood a bit in his youth) or gave a show with a slave girl - was dressed seriously.

The exception was the white sneakers he was wearing, but they were necessary due to the demanding numbers he would perform.

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The show began with the Tall One, who, skillfully riding a bareback unicycle (a one-wheeled bicycle, for the uninitiated), spun 4-5 ballot boxes from one hand to the other in the air. Then, with two bamboo sticks, he skillfully brought around not empty plates, like all ordinary number crunchers, but plates filled with the food menu for the honored guests, without spilling a single French fry.

Under the applause of the media present, the next act was the game with umbrellas, which he threw in the air and caught again, while two elegant assistants accompanied the honored guests. The latter walked down the red carpet, amazed by the art that was unfolding before their eyes.

Some of the guests witnessed a speed act, where the illusionist I Gjata would accompany them with an umbrella for a moment, while the next second he would disappear, only to reappear 50 meters away, to the next guest.

As reporters later explained, the secret was in the special sneakers, with which the Tall One slid across the wet carpet at the speed of light.

The only one who was not impressed was an old nurse, whom the Tall One excitedly called, 'Baba Rexhep'.

"What are you talking about, my son," the old man frowned.

But the Tall One whispered: " That's just a small talk, I want to impress a housewife, " and Baba Rexhepi smiled, shook his finger as if to say, "Ah, you're a pizzer ," and left.

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As everyone witnessed, the climax came when an Italian blonde, one of those with yellow fur, emerged from the next Benz. Meanwhile, the Tall One – who had rolled inside the red carpet and had become like a tube, rolled out vigorously, unfolding the carpet once more in Skanderbeg Square and emerging from there like a Kinder sorpresa. In a second, he pulled a bouquet of flowers from his sleeve, gained momentum, launched himself onto the wet carpet and slid with the bouquet in his hand towards the blonde, who had already received her full dose of fright.

The desert gave signals with her hands and feet, such as " don't leave me alone", "you beast, what are you doing", "oh God, what did you do to me with this donkey " and similar messages.

But the Tall One didn't listen to that. He stood up, trampled all the tents that were there, and then knelt down in front of the blonde, whose eyes were bulging from the shock.

Everyone was waiting to hear what he would say, but the Tall One simply said: Welcome, Madam Prime Minister...

***  

While the episode went around the world and the outdoor show ended, the circus acts continued inside the tent. European leaders were delighted with the Duce's salty jokes, and a documentary was shown in which all the guests had been transformed into children, thanks to an Artificial Intelligence program that the Tall Man's little boy had learned in elementary school.

The friends then laughed awkwardly, secretly checking their watch, as the Tall One all the while accused the British Prime Minister of bringing the rain, addressed the French President as 'Your Majesty', kissed half the invited women on the cheeks, and told everyone without exception that they had lunch with him.          

Sources for the Patronage indicate that at that moment, Father Rexhepi secretly gestured to the guests, "let it end, it won't last long...".

Afterwards, those present quickly insulted Russia, praised Trump, and left. 

PS (actually, PD). A couple of hundred meters away, an angry old man had gathered 50-60 people who had announced that, in order to spite the Tall One, he would give an alternative circus show. But when he arrived, they informed him that the single bicycle he was supposed to ride had been taken by a rival. For some reason, only the saddle was left. Then he grabbed the megaphone and started shouting: "Thieves, bandits! Our fight, our honor..." and ran away.

Note: Patrona?isti is a more Euro-Atlantic satirical column than Lul Basha