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REPLY/ Sadrazemi puts on his magic glasses and responds to the accusers

2025-08-15 11:07:46Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Sadrazemi Bojalli giving his impressions about the fires

SOMEWHERE IN A SURREL MEADOW – With his back tortured by chronic lower back pain, finally finding some rest in the soft grass of the meadow, and with his cell phone camera turned back towards his increasingly Ismail-Qemalesque portrait, Sadrazemi Bojalli decided to respond not only to the people, but to all the impatient accusers, the mouthy-mouthed who see only evil even in good, and no longer see any good in evil; in a word, to all the scoundrels who do not wait for the situation to cool down and the fires to cease to judge coldly, but instead rush in and look for chickpeas on a skewer.

He had chosen the time perfectly. As soon as some rain had started, the fires had subsided and those horses that were to be burned had been burned; some others had been killed in pairs, while others had escaped.

He was wearing a red t-shirt and a pair of equally red flip-flops – like the ones worn by the businessman who rescued Parashqevi Simaku from the streets of New York; the one that all the Albanian media headlines say breaks one taboo after another, even though when Sadrazem was young, taboos were called differently.

He had a lot of anger built up, but he would speak calmly. In the end, he was right.

* 

He didn't start his speech with “I'm here to report to you” or “to give you an account.” Like the devil that he is, he began redeemably with “ I wanted to share some impressions with you ,” as if he were talking about how he felt about Dan Brown's latest novel.

And he began: "First, we will repair or rebuild the 200 or so completely or partially burned houses as soon as possible. The 40 families who have been left completely homeless will have priority, while the 3,600 head of livestock that were lost will be compensated."

Now, an answer to those who say, why don't we have firefighting planes and helicopters. Have you seen France, Greece, Spain? They are full of planes, but the fires were bigger than ours. Then, the planes of the united Europe came to us. You will say, it is different when you take off your plane at the first moment of the fire, and different when a friend's plane arrives three days later. Okay, no one is a prefect, although we have 12 of them, one for each district.

But what should the poor government buy first? Pay for the Vrana Konti 1 and 2 fire-fighting satellites, implement the 4 million euro vertical forest project in the prime minister's courtyard, integrate with the EU with an artificial intelligence ministry, or deal with some ordinary flames that ruin our peace in the middle of August?

And here Sadrazemi Bojalli took a deep breath.

"Do you see how I get irritated by the unfair accusations? After all, our minister Viro Pengu has also ordered firefighting aircraft, I believe they will arrive in 5 years. But the thing is that we do not have pilots, so we need a pilot project for pilot training. Until then, our firefighters will be trained in the use of fig leaves.

Then there's the part where they say I don't have money for firefighting planes because I spent it on a private plane. Slander! I only use a private plane when I'm on government business, while I do private work on a government plane like everyone else.

Now, as for the affected livestock and farmers, I invite all interested parties to apply for the Mountain Package and the Fields Package. There is only one condition:

"Because we have had a lot of fraud and abuse in recent years with agricultural funds - there are always those who eat cucumbers behind my back - damaged livestock should apply personally and not disguised behind third parties. For this, we will put our best specialist, Krifa Fridca, in charge of the work."

*        

In the end, Sadrazem addressed the slanderous accusers directly: "Yes , yes, I'm addressing you who speak from cafes, beaches or from some village meadow..." but in the meantime, a female voice was heard in the background, "Ediiii, come on, the ice cream will get cold, you can't put it in your mouth then...".

Forgetting to turn off the video on his cell phone, Sadrazemi sighed and stood up, "I'm here, I'm here... Ehuhaaa, they won't let you sleep at all."

 Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column in favor of sleeping in the heat


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