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PROJECT READY / Thethi National Park soon with Lungomare

2025-07-10 23:12:20Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
During the works for the Thethi Promenade

TIRANA/ VLONA/ SHESH – For a long time, I Gjati had kept his anger inside. More precisely, since the last time, when he went to Theth and invited the indigenous inhabitants to invest in tourism and guesthouses, saying that the government would forgive their fines.

There he realized that Thethi was the only tourist destination left without a promenade. He had built stone boulevards from Tamara to Tepelena, from Erseka to Kukës, all by one hand, one project, one scheme, but Thethi had been saved.

He got angry from then on.

“What a name,” you say to yourself, “it seems as if the first toponym had been Shesh, but some idiot pronounced it Theth and that’s how it stayed .” And he didn’t care about the alpine village for a few years. It was a time when all his worries were on the Vlora Seafront. But the residents remembered his invitation to invest in their hometown with a full stop, and they found Theth to make a living. They had even filled the large square in the center of Theth with booths.

*** 

In fact, Lungomarja was marked as a success story. The devil has cried, the people of Vlora said, and they would wander down the boulevard, not wanting to go home at all. Because as soon as they entered the neighborhood, the tired buildings, the garbage, the lack of lighting, manhole covers, water, and greenery brought them back to reality once again. 

The truth is that even on the phone and in Gjati's office, as prime minister and as a deputy for the area, the complaints had long been a staple: " Oh brother, come on, give up, the city is for the rich, we won't eat Lungomare, he killed it . "

But damn, the murdered man was busy. He was being called upon from all over the globe to resolve crises, while the war in Ukraine put a lid on him. The only thing that shook him was the massive abstention of the people of Vlora in the May 11 elections.

He was shocked. At first he wanted to dissolve the entire municipality, but then he remembered that the mayor, Dermal Dredhaniku, was a relative of comrade Gramoz. Therefore, he voluntarily dismissed all the directors of the municipality. "Vlora is like a dump, gentlemen. You have not done any work, leave on your own so that SPAK does not take you away," he advised them in a friendly manner.

"But why me, Mr. Prime Minister?", dared to react the director of the 'Petro Marko' Theater, " we have done a series of performances, we have staged so many works. I have no hand in the lack of water, nor in the garbage fire...".  

"You're right, because you've been indifferent. Why haven't you made stinging sketches about the municipality's shortcomings? Go away yourself, or I'll make you director of the Theth Theater!" , I Gjati replied.

*** 

It was this memory trick that brought Theth back to his attention. He felt that he had neglected the pearl of the North. But so as not to seem like he had anything personal, he decided to make the geographical ascent towards the north gradually.

So it happened that the Tall One, climbing higher, stopped in each municipality and dismissed the directors: Fier, Lushnje, Durrës… But when he arrived in Theth, he didn't bother with any gossip, but directly brought in the bulldozers and excavators.

"You have them without permission, we will demolish all the cabins because you are obstructing the common space of the community. There is no place for people to pass, " declared I Gjati.

"What people, Mr. Prime Minister? We are the only ones here," the Thethasiots (or Thethanics?) tried to calm him down. But the Tall One was not listening on that ear.

*** 

From sources close to the National Council of Territories - which I Gjati affectionately calls my territorial squad - Patronazhisti learns that the project for the construction of a promenade in Theth has been completed. Architects have gathered to apply I Gjati's only successful work to the Alps.

It is learned that a couple of architects who said during a meeting that only a Lungo could be built in Theth, because there is no Mare, were ceremonially expelled from the project for lack of vision.

Meanwhile, in order to lose track, I Gjati is continuing with the procedures of dismissing directors in every municipality he comes across: Roskovec, Delvinë, Devoll, Fushë-arrëz...

The latest news says that even in the neighboring municipalities of Ioannina, Corfu, Ohrid, Ulcinj and Brindisi, the request of the Long One has arrived for the parasitic directors to be urgently removed...

Note: The Patronage is a satirical column that is anti-concrete/ but pro-season/ But in the end, the head does/ the head suffers/ when the Long One trusts/ and invests the savings


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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