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RANGAT / Fear, Federika and a phone call with The Tall One

2025-12-02 23:03:36Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
A Long Hour of Instruction with Federika

TIRANA, BRUSSELS and return – The first thing Federica Mogherini asked for when she was arrested by Belgian police was the right to make a phone call. “ I want to talk to my lawyer ,” said the former EU foreign minister.

At that moment, Tall Man's cell phone rang.

"Hey, my girl, what's up?", Gjati replied with all his might, but his Dubai-bred smile was cut short when the girl told him that he had been arrested for misuse of funds.

"What the hell? What kind of abuse have you done, that I should be robbed of my money, for all this fuss about three million euros? Are they even dealing with pennies now?" And he instantly gathered himself:

"Listen. Take the case to the Constitutional Court! Do you have a Constitutional Court there? Hey, take it there! Tell those pigs, if I leave, the College of Europe will remain without a leader and the students without lessons!"

And the Tall One gave him one last message: " If they ask you about me, tell them that I know him from afar, we are not friends"...

*** 

They said that Federica was born with a red shirt. In fact, at a young age she was indeed a member of the Italian Communist Youth, then she joined the Socialists. But when many thought the peak of her career came when Matteo Rrenci (Mate the Liar in the dialect) as prime minister, appointed her as Italy's Foreign Minister, they were seriously mistaken. Not even six months later, Mateu put her name forward for EU Foreign Minister. Mateu himself did not last long and lost the Italian elections, but Federica remained as a gift.

In short, Federika, within a year, saw herself go from being a socialist secretary in the opposition to being the EU's chief diplomat! (And then we complain about why the ministers that I Gjati takes from the milk queue and gives them a ministry steal!)

Belgian police suspect that Federica's frequent contacts with Albania as Foreign Minister, and then as director of the College of Europe - where the continent's future politicians are trained - may have played a role in creating her dependence on funds. When they learned that in the last two years, the goca had spent more time in Tirana than in Belgium or Italy, they began to investigate.

And what did they see? Abuse of tenders, corruption, conflict of interest, violation of professional secrecy...

The investigators were rubbing their eyes and saying to each other, "Is this Federika or Bella Ballukja?"    

***

Just a few days ago, the European Union asked Albania to investigate the abuse of IPARD agricultural funds, but no one mentioned Frika Drifca by name, the former director of AZHBR and minister of agriculture. Frika has made a name for herself as an expert on paper plots and farmers from the center of Tirana who built villas on the Riviera with agricultural money.  

When she heard that Federika had been arrested, Frika declared to her friends that she had been friends with that girl and that they had worked together to bring Albania closer to the EU.

"Yes, we walked together for a while, as they say in the gossip, Frika before and Federika after," the former Azhbristja recalled with nostalgia, who has not yet encountered a thorn in her side.

"No," a friend corrected her, "Federika first and you after, because she had a higher duty."

"Listen to me," Frika insisted, " I'm ahead and she's behind, I'm telling you. We walked with all courage and pride towards integration. But I was vigilant, I saw the police and sat down, while Federika ate it."

PS Federika followed the instructions of the Long One and told the investigators that they should not arrest her, because the students would be left without a leader. “ That is precisely why we are arresting you,” they replied, “ because those students will lead Europe tomorrow, and with a professor like you, we have gone for a ride.” 

Note: Patrona?isti is a pro-student satirical column


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