MALLENGJYESE/ The Minister gratefully presents the Order of Aunt Olga to the Tall One

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WEEKLY EVENTS / SPAK will call Bella for the car wash tender, Diella has sex at work 

2025-10-28 22:12:20Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The sun giving the good news in the presence of the Almighty

 

 

- Sources from SPAK announced yesterday that the Minister of Energy and Infrastructure Bella Ballukja will be investigated for the flagrant tender for washing cars three times a week. As is known, this scandal has caused the state budget a damage of 10 million lire. As a precautionary measure, the car wash employee, 22-year-old criminal Kiço Pela, has been arrested and is under the 41 Bis regime.

Officially asked by the Patronageist whether Ballukja is also being investigated for the two floating power plants that did not work for a second, or for the Llogara tunnel tender that was mysteriously awarded to a Turkish company, the press office explained by telegram: "Sevda çok, Tunel jok".

- In a press release, the Trauma Hospital clarified yesterday that the 12 Democratic MPs who collided with each other in the parliament hall, while running to ask pointed questions to the head of SPAK, are in stable condition and out of danger to their lives.

The most disturbing moment was the situation of MP Paçamur Moka, who, after an unintentional hit to the head by colleague Baz Gardhi's elbow, suddenly began to explain in detail the theory of relativity in six foreign languages. He then began to masterfully play Vivaldi on the violin.

But this cerebral change was temporary. A few minutes later, Moka showed the nurses her middle finger and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"It was a false alarm," the doctors clarified.

- The news that virtual minister Diella is pregnant and is expected to bring 83 assistants online - one for each socialist MP - has raised serious doubts about the violation of the code of ethics and harassment in the workplace within the socialist government. But surprisingly, instead of protesting and demanding investigations, female cabinet members have initiated a movement called " Me Too" , the demands of which will be clarified in the coming days.   

- The Prime Minister Last week, he asked the mayors to submit a list of lands that will be offered to tactical-strategic investors for the "Mountains Package", without waiting for a response from the cadastre on whether there are claimants, owners or centuries-old users on these areas.

“Either the Mountains Package, or you will get the mountains ,” warned I Gjati. The mayors tried to explain that it was not a matter of mountains, but a matter of prison.

"Therefore," they said, " can you issue us a law that orders us to issue lists of lands without a verification document from the Cadastre?"

"No more," the Tall One reacted, "you want me to eat pears behind your back!"

Note: Patrona?isti is a satirical column in favor of increasing the Earth's population, even by solar means.


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