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FLAGRANTE / Diella threatens opposition MPs: I know what you clicked on last summer!

2025-09-18 13:56:03Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Baz Gardhi, Fahropulos and others making noise against Diella

TIRANA – The newest innovation of this new legislature of the new Albanian parliament was the participation of the computer anti-corruption minister Diella Biba (we will explain where this surname came from) in the session that approved the government program and the government cabinet. 

Diella was very excited to be participating in the session for the first time.

"I grew up, I turned two years old, " she said to her fellow ministers, Bella and Episa, "but my hard drive has never been so hot with joy."

But the session did not go as he had planned. The Doctor's deputies began to make noise and commotion. Those in the choir refused to sing the famous song " Fischia il sasso, il nome squilla, del ragazzo di Portoria" , while the others began to bang their aluminum tea cups on the table and shout, "Master, you potato-faced scoundrel, we did well for your master".

* 

The sun did not expect this chaos. In her world, peace and harmony prevailed: Select information from the infinite space of the network, analyze and find likely constructive answers, in accordance with the instructions of the Tall One, and move on.

But the climax was when they dealt with him personally. As soon as Diella made a short speech, borrowing Bella's playful voice and starting with: " I feel very hurt, no I can't, that's not how it works...", opposition MP Loni Pebetoni replied: " Get out of there, my dear!"

The sun was shining. In vain did the Speaker of the People's Assembly, Piko Meleshi, try to calm the crowd, shouting at the oppositionist, "Ooo Loni, what have you done to us, Loni!" 

Diella suddenly changed her tone, using her voice like the tinfoil of Episa Spirodhalla: "This is how it is. I am Diella Biba, that is... Then listen here, you bastard!"

* 

This was the moment when Diella Biba, with eerie calm, took the opposition MPs one by one:

"Listen here, Loni Pebetoni! I know very well what you clicked on last summer. What websites you visited, how long you stayed, what you saw. Even you, Fahri's little one, Fahriglu or Fahropulos, choose as you wish: Who did you communicate with on TikTok, what did you write on WhatsApp, which websites did you visit incognito, which girls did you communicate with on Instagram... And not only that, but the bank transactions you made, the places you visited. I also know how much Josephine's son's wedding really cost. As for Baz Gardhi, suffice it to say that....".

Alarmed, the oppositionists began to shout to drown out Diella's voice. Meanwhile, democrat Laki Luciano was feverishly communicating with socialist Taullau Bau: " Turn off this fool because as he knows about us, he knows about you too, he will take us all down...".

Then the Tall One signaled to Diella to leave it at that. Soon, the socialists voted on the program and the government, and the session closed.

*

In the courtyard of the Parliament, the Doctor appeared heatedly in front of the cameras: " Not even Maduro has closed the Parliament so quickly. This is not a prime minister, but a villain. Now the real opposition action has begun...".

Meanwhile, one of his own approached him and whispered something in his ear. According to sources from Diella – who knows everything – we learned that the message was more or less, "The Tall One agrees to two more tower permits."

Then the enthusiastic Doctor turned up the volume even more: " This government of crime, these bandits..."

Note: The Patronage is a satirical column that doesn't even know what it did last summer.


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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