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NEW GOVERNMENT / The "Minister We Want" platform is launched. The offer is limited!

2025-09-07 16:12:17Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
During the presentation of the socialist platform 'The Tall One We Wanted'

TIRANA - With the motto, "Let's implement the decisions of the last socialist assembly", decisions that he actually made himself, it is learned that the socialist leader Gjata has announced the opening of the innovative platform "The Minister We Want", which will remain open until September 11.

The platform in question will help the longest-serving Albanian prime minister since comrade Mehmet - a polymath by profession - to select the members of his 19th governing cabinet.

It seems that Gjati decided to open this competition after the success of another innovative platform, " The MP We Want" , which brought him a publicity victory in the May 11 elections.

In reality, he had long since determined the candidates - both the new surretërs, and those with money who would finance the campaign - but " Deputy..." amused him immensely, because he melted when he saw what the poor candidates were capable of doing for a piece of parliament.

They applied for MPs in black and white from Tirana, the South, the North, the region and the diaspora. Many of them had hired professional filming teams so that the introductory video would be stellar, like the documentaries presented at the Venice Film Festival. I Gjati and Bella Ballukja spent their afternoons watching the candidates' videos.

" Oh, hug me, boss," Bella said, " look at this crazy girl from Roskovec, I wish she could become an MP with that name, Zegjine. A complete village girl!"

"We'll really take that one, because it's a fighter!", the Tall One froze his smile, "what do you say?"

"Nooo, " Bella swallowed, " I was just about to say that, it's a girl's fault!"

Suddenly the Tall One turned to Bella:

"And you, Grifshe, have you submitted your application?"

The ceilings of all three floors fell on Bella's head. " Well... how should I say... I still have some work to do... Do I need it quickly?"

The Tall Man really enjoyed this moment, then burst out laughing.

"If you're the district manager, my dear, are you automatically on the list, or did you forget?"

Then even Bella - whose normal tension had returned - melted at the leader's overly salty joke.

*     

Gjati is convinced that he will experience the same joy and happiness with "The Minister We Want." And in fact, in the first few hours there was an influx of applications beyond any expectation, given that the number of ministers will be a maximum of 20.

A malfunction of Artificial Intelligence in the ranking of criteria that candidates must meet, caused "high school" to be translated literally into " high school" and the final result was that candidates with high school were also accepted. This caused the Artificial Intelligence system to also accept lapidaries of natural intelligence, such as candidates Selami Jeniçeri, Nard Ndoka, Cjapi i Cërrikut, Ujku i Beratit, etc. 

Another non-negotiable criterion is that candidates must not have served time in prison for weak motives. “ Only prison for strong motives is accepted ,” the list of criteria states, without clarifying the level of strength. 

A criterion that raises a lot of points is that the candidate has as many friends on Facebook, enemies on Instagram and hordes of people who follow him/her on other networks. The emphasis on the candidate being viral even led to some individuals applying with the flu, a dry cough and a temperature of 38 and two lines. 

Meanwhile, the future minister must have the ability to speak while walking in front of the camera, while the companion - one or several - takes notes on a small pad, muttering " Definitely", "Yes, boss", "Excellent idea" , etc. This criterion disqualified many candidates, who, even after many tests, could not coordinate walking and speaking while looking at the camera. Some went crazy, others fell and fell. 

But the biggest bonus is for the first 10 applications, by order of the Long One himself: The beneficiaries among the ten, who are elected ministers, will have the honor of personally signing all projects, high-value tenders and large purchases, even if they are not from their department. So hurry, hurry! The offer is limited!

The SP Patronageist learns that in parallel, SPAK has opened its own platform "The Ministers We Need Just Here from the Offices"


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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