CHRONICLE ON ASPHALT/ The rise and fall of Bella B.

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INTERVIEW / The leader becomes curious: You look like a familiar face, where have I seen you?

2025-10-06 12:55:26Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

TIRANA / Through a long conversation with leisurely questions and answers, which happened to be held in front of a microphone and filmed with a camera, the leader finally satisfied his curiosity about the figure of the candidate he had designated for the municipality of Tirana.

"It's good that I made the faces, because look, I've been very busy, not Gaza, not Ukraine ," admitted the leader dressed in pajamas as he invited the candidate who entered the studio trembling with emotion, " and I said let's get to know each other a little, because I saw a familiar face there at the assembly."

The leader was honest when he said that when he was giving his grand speech at the assembly, he would occasionally look around the hall. He remembered some names, some he didn't.

"Generally, the names of the ministers who had signed what I had asked of them immediately came to mind. Here's so-and-so, I would say, golden boy. But I saw you there three or four times in the first row and I didn't think anything of it. I got worried. There's no way this world star with cheeks like buns couldn't have signed, I said to myself. When I did, you reminded me: Bageta Manastirlesha!"

The candidate was moved to tears by the praise. "Okay, okay," the leader interrupted, "now tell us a little about yourself."

And then this dialogue developed…

* 

-You were born here in Tirana, right? I believe you're not from the countryside...

-Yes, yes, Mr. Leader, in Tirana. My grandfather was a soprano, and my grandmother was a tenor. They sang all day, while my mother danced...

-Okay, okay, tell me how you were with your lessons? Or were you dancing too...

-Nooo, what's up. I was a good student, but I was more of an activist. Because my grandmother had a house opposite the party headquarters, and I would sit on the balcony all day to watch the progress of the party's affairs. Come inside, my raven, and do your homework, my grandmother would tell me. Leave me alone, I would tell her, because as soon as comrade Fatos and comrade Gramoz joined the party...

-Until one day you came down from the balcony and entered the party, right?

-Not exactly, Mr. Leader. I only came down when I saw you: Tall, handsome, anti-trend, controversial, bohemian, carefree, with red socks and a cyclamen scarf... And I ran and brought you a bouquet of flowers. You probably don't remember, but I also recited a poem to you:

Hand over my heart/I place it slowly/It is beating fast/I will say a few words to you…

-Aaaah yes, now I remember! I mean you were that bitch who embarrassed me with that Enver poem!

-No, friend... I mean, Mr. Leader! I'm the deserter...

-Just kidding, girl, just kidding. That's why I was saying, where have I seen you? You've been a mouth since then. What did you do then?

-I graduated from the military tailoring school, but since the army had gone for cotton, I got involved directly in your campaign for the municipality of Tirana. Ehhh, what a time! I watched you and couldn't get enough: Rebel, modern, western, artist... You won and I started working in the municipality. At first as a simple specialist, then as a complicated specialist. But Lul Gjiumashi stole the municipality from us. However, two years later we won the elections and since then, I have not separated from Kanani.

-Bravo, it's your fault, Lulka! You had a good time with the Kinostudio films. What about then? I remember you coming around there from the QSUT, right?

-Yes, you appointed me director, Mr. Leader. I believe you remember how we changed the face of the hospital, how many tenders we made, how many flower beds we arranged! Even the patients said, now even if I die, I will have no regrets because we are surrounded by flowers, without the burden of medicines. Then you made me Minister of Health...

-Hey! There you are. You were, for God's sake! We were together for Covid, weren't we? Yes, yes, and I was saying, what a familiar face! Medicines, vaccines, masks, ventilators... How many procurements we made then, Albania had not made together in 30 years. Sorry Bageta, now I remember you very well. And I am more and more convinced that you are the right candidate for Tirana!

-I have not found the right moment to thank you, Mr. Leader. This noble mission that you have entrusted to me is the task of my life. I will try with all my might...

-I know, I believe, that even if you win, the mandate is only for a year!

-Yes, yes, but I hope that with your help, in a year I will be a candidate again. Of course, after we have changed the face of the capital for the tenth time... 

-Yes, my friend. No worries at all. If SPAK hasn't called you by then, we're here and we'll talk again. That's what my interviews are called: Let's talk!

Note: The Patronageist is a satirical column that promotes the monologue dialogue of leaders.


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