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"You have become like a cow"/ How the mother of two children ended up in a psychiatric hospital due to her husband's insults

2023-01-15 17:46:34Aktualitet SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

"You have become like a cow"/ How the mother of two children ended up

On the boy's third birthday, after hours and hours of waiting to celebrate, the children's father did not arrive until after midnight.

Alma had forgotten her being, received insults from her husband for her appearance, and all this caused her panic attacks, from which she woke up in the psychiatric hospital of Athens.

A conversation with a psychologist was enough to remind Alma that there was actually a way out. For the last time, she tried to give a pulse to her marriage and family in the hope that she could save them.

Ardit Gjebrea : What was the moment you split your mind, saying I will go forward alone?

Alma : Things had reached the point where we no longer had any point of communication, even at home we rarely met. But the moment I said stop was when my son had his birthday on July 30th and he turned 3 years old and I called him, I said you will come a little early today that I will arrange a little so that the children can feel the atmosphere that the son has a birthday? And he said "yes". An hour passed, I hadn't set the table so we could wait for him, I called him, "I came, now I met a friend, I'm drinking a beer and I came". Then an hour passed, I call him again, "I'll be there in 5 minutes, I came", they passed, passed, midnight came, we didn't celebrate the birthday of the child, the children went to sleep, I waited for him, I didn't speak at all when he came. He went inside, "hey, I don't know what happened" he told me.

I have always tried to let situations pass without being heard, I had completely forgotten myself. It seems to me that the overload... I had forgotten that I am a woman, or I had to take care of myself or I had gone and gained another 100 kilos, he told me "you have become like a cow" and that overload... I had panic attacks. The ambulance came and took me and I suddenly found myself in the psychiatric hospital of Athens. When I saw myself there, I was scared, I said, what do I want here? What will the children become?

I stayed there for 2-3 hours talking with the psychologist. It was that moment that dawned on me in the tunnel, that light that I could not see anywhere. It was the first time in my life that I was able to bring out everything I have inside and explain exactly how I feel somewhere. And a magic word from the psychologist gave me wings, she told me "yes, you are very strong". I had never heard someone tell me that you are strong and believe that I am strong, I believed that I am not strong, I believed that I cannot, that I will not succeed. The other advice was "with what you are telling me", he said, "you are in a toxic environment. If you can't change the situation, you have to change the environment".

And I really felt like I was freed. It was the first time in my life that I went to a psychologist because we had it and as a taboo, to go to a psychologist myself, I'm not crazy, but that's when I realized what help you can get. Then I went home, I tried to hug him because I wanted to save the situation in the family, I didn't want to end it, despite everything. He gave me a push, "see how you are mine", he said. It's like he pressed another button, the next day I went and signed up to the gym, I started the diet, I went and got in shape, after 3 months I was fantastic, I felt at least, I don't know how I really was.

Ardit Gjebrea : Did he compliment you at least?

Alma : He never complimented me, but he started to get jealous. However, even though I became more beautiful, our relationship was not fixed because everything between us had been lost and I did not want my children to grow up in such an atmosphere that the parents no longer have communication with each other, and in fact I asked in a peaceful way.

I told him we are over, but at that time the Albanians of that generation don't seem to accept it easily and I was forced to move, changed cities, took my children and ran away.


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