DREAM / The Prime Minister resigns and wakes up under the Parisian bridge!

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CONFLICT / Basha attacks with a drone the bridge that connects SHQUP with Gaz Bardhi

2023-07-31 13:43:35Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
CONFLICT / Basha attacks with a drone the bridge that connects SHQUP with Gaz
Basha preparing the waters for the next attack

TIRANA - News agencies announce that the conflict between the free and independent DP and the aggressors inspired by former president Salimir Salimirovic Berisha has just escalated. As is known, part of the territories of the pro-Euro-Atlantic PD were occupied in the first days of the war, including the strategic building of the SCUP, by the mercenary troops of the private company Tritan Shehner.

But then when it seemed that everything was over, the leader of the Democratic Party Lulzim Basha appeared in the media calling on his supporters to stand strong, took off his suits and ties, put on the famous olive t-shirt, boldly resigned from party leadership and decided to lead the war quietly from the Netherlands. The messages he sent from The Hague were symbolic and understandable only to his troops. For example, he posted photos on Instagram with his hair less aubergine-colored than usual; this meant that supporters had to follow after Enkelejd Alibejn. Or congratulated the decisions of the last NATO summit; which means that the fans didn't have to trust Gaz Bardhi anymore.

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But the time of encrypted messages seems to be over. The latest escalation occurred yesterday, when a mysterious drone attacked the strategic bridge that connects the headquarters of the Slovak Republic with Gaz Bardhin. The attack specifically targeted Gazi, who was crossing the bridge to go to SKUP. A water-filled balloon burst on Gaz, turning him to mush.

Although the attack was symbolic, the statement of the free DP was not. The reaction of Lulu's staff said that now the war would go to the door of the aggressor, and the Gas balloon would be followed by others. Luli even accused Berisha of lobbying in the US with Russian money.

On the other hand, the Free Democratic Party - which received over 700,000 votes as the opposition in the last parliamentary elections, while Basha was re-elected as the leader of one third of the party with 18,000 votes - has increased the demands from the Western allies, for an increase in supplies of balloons, still water and leaflets.

"We call on the allies to supply us with the tools we need, because we are resisting not only for ourselves, but also for them," said Basha in a statement, wearing an olive-colored military blouse and military slippers with the toe out. 

For its part, SHQUP has declared that it will suspend the food agreement in force between the two parties, which provides for the supply of pies to the pan-democratic protesters. According to SHQUP, " the attack with water without gas against Gas shows that the Basha faction is not sincere in the bilateral pacts. This individual that the party took from nothing and made a deputy and minister, is intentionally harming the water of the Democrats. We cannot continue supplying the Democrats with pies, knowing that in this terrible heat they have no water and the dough can get stuck in their throats. 

For his part, the victim Gaz Bardhi also had something to say.

"To tell you the truth," said Gazi, "that water balloon was a blessing from heaven, because it really refreshed me." By the time I got to SQUP to talk to the doctor, the shirt was completely dry!”

Note: Patronageist is Ukrainian satirical column  


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