INVESTIGATION / The scheme is revealed: Wages were increased only to justify the President's salary!

2023-06-01 20:59:24Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
The Albanian president (left) asking his Croatian counterpart about his salary

RINAS – While waiting in the VIP lounge of the Rinas airport to go abroad, the President of the Republic Barjam Begu decided that it would not be a bad idea to go to the toilet once, since he had a long way ahead of him, a whole hour by plane. But as soon as he entered, his secretary knocked on the toilet door.

"Mr. President, they just approved it. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but you yourself told me to let you know at any time." Barjami reassured him from behind the door: " It's okay, you did very well. Throw the document under the door for me to sign."

This is how it happened, say confidential sources for the Patronageist, that the President of the Republic signed the salary increase decree for the whole of Albania, without it being voted on by the Albanian parliament.

"I didn't leave without making sure that even the last Albanian would benefit from a salary increase," the President then explained the lightning signing.


But some voices insist more and more that in fact, the whole history of the massive salary increase for the budget workers was just a scheme to increase the salary of deputies, ministers and especially, the head of state himself. The event is said to have started when Prime Minister Edi called the chief of staff of the army, General Barjam, to a one-on-one meeting some time ago, and told him in a delightful Enverian dialect:

"I want to be president. Only that I have one condition: You will sign what I give you, I will not throw wicklas like this tar with paint that we have now. What do you mean?"

Barjami, as a patriotic and visionary man for the good of the nation, answered: " Okay, I have a question: How much is the salary?" When he found out the number, he reacted:

"I also have a condition: It's a low salary bro." I have water, lights, cleaning tax, board tax to pay. Make it double and I'll be back tomorrow."

Edi laughed: " Yes, not tomorrow, General! Once you get out of the zira ki kokmadhi, you also surrender to the army, then we'll see and do it. As for the salary, we will do something, yes!"


This is how it happened that General Barjam became His Excellency the President, SHTZ for short. But when, as the months passed, SHTZ was reminding Ed of his salary job, the latter was taken aback. He gathered the ministers and told them: " We must increase the salary of SHTZ, as I promised." The problem is that it looks bad if we only increase it. How will we act?"

The answer was given by the Minister of Money, Ibrahima Delinaj: " Mr. Chief, I say let's raise the salaries of all budget workers, who more and who less. If we increase wages by an average of 30 percent, and inflation increases by 50%, we benefit from the difference of 20%. With this difference, we increase our salaries and those of the deputies, and thus we take a step closer to Europe!"

Ed's face lit up. He took a comprehensive look at the other ministers and said, pointing to Ibrahim: "Here, I call this the Euro-Atlantic vision. Lead by example, late!!!”

Bella Balukja was all black, but she didn't make a sound...


After working out the scheme, the ministers and social deputies of the Socialist Party decided: Teachers' salaries will be increased by 7 percent, specialist doctors by 20 percent, deputies by 50 percent and the president by 200 percent. For the latter, the legal reasoning was: "The president has expenses, because he is not alone. He also has a First Lady. The law even provides for an eventual supplement, if there was a Second Lady..."

The story ends with Barjam's trip to Croatia. When he landed at Zagreb airport and met with his Croatian counterpart Milanovic, concerned about the deepening of bilateral cooperation and strategic relations with friendly Croatia, Barjami asked him: " Brother, how much is your salary?"

"Yes, it seems to me that 3300 euros ," the surprised Croat replied.

"I have 3,550 euros," said Barjami proudly, "don't worry, you will also gradually come to our level. What about the lights when they come in a month...?”

Note: Patronageist is a satirical anti-inflation column