Summer season is the most fun time for children. School is over and most of them are looking forward to spending a few days of vacation at sea with family (for those who can afford it).
On the other hand, we are living in a time when games, entertainment, clothes are many for children, compared to the time when their parents were at the same age and the pleasure they reflect is little.
Parents complain more and more that despite their sacrifices to satisfy their every whim, they always have something to ask for later... and so the claims go on.
For this parent-child relationship and what affects their dissatisfaction, you called clinical psychologist Lediona Braho today.
Below is a conversation with him on VoxNews.
- Lediona, nowadays, where there are many entertainments, as well as food, children find it difficult to enjoy themselves, why?
In general, it is human nature to "never be satisfied" and "to ask for more and more". Children are human beings with emotions, sadness and joy, just like adults. The latter can do a lot, even "everything" as you are saying, for their children, but we must see what is beyond this and raise some questions: How is the relationship between them? Does the child feel emotionally connected to his parents? Is there a strong and healthy bond between the child and all family members? Are there conflicts at home? The questions can be extended even further to the school and community area: Does the child feel connected to his peers? What about the teachers? Does he have friends? Is he/she bullied at school? With these questions I want to answer your question: so, I mean that even if it seems like the child "has it all,
- Where are the parents wrong?
Parents are the most important people in a child's life. Absolutely! In addition to the biological and legal relationship, they are the persons responsible for how the child will grow and develop (of course, if the child is not hindered by any genetic syndrome that may hinder development). The way many parents parent today is different from the way their parents parented. Because the system and values ??of society have changed.
Parents' education for the emotional well-being of children and their work with themselves are important factors that improve their approach to parenting. The opposite happens if parents are busy most of the time, overly stressed, away from home, or in conflict with each other... these situations are constant stressors that shape or prevent the formation of a strong and healthy natural bond between parents and children. children.
At the other extreme are parents who make everything happen for their children without letting them try on their own, make mistakes and learn from their mistakes. These are called "helicopter parents" and the reason why their children may be unhappy or unhappy is because they have not allowed them to live naturally but have erected artificial protective walls around the children that they have protected, but mostly, they haven't let them grow up.
-How much have social networks influenced the non-fulfillment of satisfaction?
The ever-increasing use by ever-younger children in most countries of the world, especially in the West, is alarming and raises concerns about children's well-being and mental health. There are studies that say that screens are also being used by babies as a "toy", "entertainment tool" or "babysitter". So in short, we live in an age where roles traditionally performed by humans are now performed by electronic devices. And if something artificial tries to displace the human, it goes against our basic nature. Our brains have evolved to learn language from talking to people rather than cartoon characters in a foreign (or even native) language; in both cases the language will be learned mechanically. Social networks further expose children (but especially their parents, for starters) to an immeasurable range of information and mental health risks due to constant daily and multiple-day exposure to the lives of others. Comparison with people who show their best on social networks makes those who have dissatisfaction with themselves or problems of one kind or another, feel even more unhappy and suffer even more. When this boom of information (images and videos) affects adults, think what it does to children, who have not yet built internal mechanisms to filter a lot of information coming from outside and analyze it critically. Comparison with people who show their best on social networks makes those who have dissatisfaction with themselves or problems of one kind or another, feel even more unhappy and suffer even more. When this boom of information (images and videos) affects adults, think what it does to children, who have not yet built internal mechanisms to filter a lot of information coming from outside and analyze it critically. Comparison with people who show their best on social networks makes those who have dissatisfaction with themselves or problems of one kind or another, feel even more unhappy and suffer even more. When this boom of information (images and videos) affects adults, think what it does to children, who have not yet built internal mechanisms to filter a lot of information coming from outside and analyze it critically.
-How important is childhood for what the child becomes when he grows up?
Patterns and lessons that are installed in childhood remain relatively stable throughout adolescence and adulthood. Relationships with parents, sisters and brothers and important people of the family and community become predictors and co-builders of: who and how the child will be, both intellectually, but especially psychologically.
In the best case, a child grows up with parents present in the family, who have loved and accepted each other, and who have given the child unconditional love, allowed him to play and experiment, supported him and without punished, but by talking to and setting examples of misbehavior, with age-appropriate restrictions and rules, he is likely to grow up to be a healthy adult. On the other hand, there are all those families in which there was no love, but coldness, neglect or violence, where the parents were not present or even suffocating, where there was great poverty or a very good economic situation but without exchanges and human values, with strict rules or no rules at all... Children raised in these families are more at risk of having problems later in life.
-Another problem is the appearance of luxury on the one hand... Meanwhile, the other part that does not satisfy them is disappointed. What should parents do to protect themselves and their children?
In general, parents should understand that everything that appears on social media does not reflect the inner reality of seemingly "luxurious" or "very happy" individuals or families. People post their best moments and always have a tendency to present ourselves better than we really are - our social self, the social "mask" that is usually supplied by our need to feel better about ourselves, especially when we are approved or liked by others.
Also, parents should pay attention to the nurturing of their relationship with their children because only this factor is a strong predictor of children's health and well-being and not material factors.
Of course, a necessary basis for living is intended and good for everyone, but if you walk in the direction of luxury "as others do" by sacrificing love, being together, enjoying irretrievable moments with children, but also alienating oneself for a purely material purpose losing the human, this, surely, can be a formula for failure and the stamp of an increasing social disorder.
*'Confession Room' exclusive column of Vox News.
©Copyright Vox News
This article is exclusive to Vox News, it is copyrighted according to Law No. 35/2016, "On copyright and related rights". The article can be republished by other media only by citing Vox News and placing the source link at the end, otherwise any violator will be held responsible according to Article 178 of Law No. 35/2016.