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Melania, Albanian national pride

2025-03-04 22:48:34Pikëpamje SHKRUAR NGA LUTFI DERVISHI
Melania Trump

If Melania were of Albanian origin, the country would be celebrating today.

Politics, academia, and civil society would mobilize to celebrate this major event, forgetting for a few days the major events of the day such as the Democratic Party primaries and Alibeu's withdrawal from recourse to the High Court.

At first, the Prime Minister would invite Melania's parents to the Eden Park of the Prime Minister's Office, among the palm trees and the carefully landscaped courtyard, to speak competently about their wonderful son-in-law. "You didn't know him well, but Donald is a great man," he would tell them, "A visionary, a patriot, a gift to Europe and a man who has understood that true power does not come from politics, but from real estate, from building towers!" And to prove the great closeness between him and his American son-in-law, he would talk to them about the TTT project to build a 100-story hotel, - "Trump Tirana Tower".

"It's a shame we only have one island because we could have given them more"...

Meanwhile, in the other camp, the opposition leader would greet Melania's parents with a frowning face and a dramatic voice:

"If Albania hadn't been under this drug mafia rule, Melania wouldn't have fled. She would be a normal girl today, maybe not that rich, but happy in Tirana!"

Meanwhile, on TV channels, popular etymologists would announce the discovery of the century: the name Melania actually comes from the village of Mellan in Dibra. This, they said, was the final proof that Trump supports SPAK and the fight against corruption. Altin Dumani and several other Dibra prosecutors would launch investigations into the Xhafa commission.

"An American groom with Dibrani roots? It only means one thing: the end of corruption in the Balkans is inevitable!"

But the party wouldn't stop there. The Ministry of Education would organize a scientific symposium, where the teachers who had the good fortune to educate Melania would share their secrets with their colleagues. The title of the symposium? "How to educate our students to become First Ladies in America!"

Meanwhile, the Veterans Committee would proudly announce the organization of a Memorial Academy for Melanie’s partisan grandfather and his heroic actions against the Nazis. In fact, according to historical archives, Melanie’s grandfather remained completely indifferent during the war, but this is not a problem. “The partisan spirit is important!” would say the chairman of the committee, the grandson of the heroic grandfather who was 11 years old at the end of the war.

In this patriotic and epic atmosphere, Attorney Ngjela could not be missing, who would declare in a television studio with unforgettable gestures:

"The marriage of Albanian Melania to Trump crowns the high American policy of creating a great Albanian state in the Balkans!"

The moderator would nod in approval, while the people would be left breathless by this geopolitical revelation of the highest order.

Civil society would not be left behind either. Women's associations would organize a grand parade on the "Martyrs of the Nation" Boulevard with the slogan:

"Don't be idle, make a girl for America too!"

At the end of all this patriotic noise, Melania would be asked by an Albanian journalist if she was proud of her roots. With a restrained smile, she would briefly answer:

"The important thing is that everyone feels good about their origins."

That would be enough to further ignite debates in Tirana.


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