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PRAYER… In memoriam Alban Shehu

2025-06-16 12:23:24Pikëpamje SHKRUAR NGA XHEVDET SHEHU
Alban Shehu

Note:  Among the dozens of manuscripts left by my son Alban Shehu, who passed away nearly two years ago, I recently found this article written 15 years ago, which I am publishing today in DITA. This article, as well as others, reflect his world, his upbringing, and the aspirations he had for life and society.

This June 16th, Albani has his birthday and we, his family, wanted to remember him in this special way. His many friends and companions who traveled together for many years, knew very well the world and the nature of their friend, his spirit, altruism, modesty and intelligence. Albani worked in silence, did not want superficial appearances, while he considered it quite natural to sacrifice more for others than for himself, which is summarized in the closing phrase of this article: “Let us try to pray less for ourselves and more for others in need”/  Xhevdet Shehu

By Alban SHEHU

Prayer and thanksgiving, since they offer considerable spiritual peace, are nevertheless advisable for believers. It would be good to keep in mind something else besides those I mentioned: let us not consume active and energetic time of our lives, let us also benefit from physical relaxation if the opportunity arises from prayer.

And, without fearing selfishness, but objectification, let us try to pray less for ourselves and more for others in need.

It all started with a visit to church:
“What do you need prayer for?” the pastor asked. Oh, if only our needs were met so easily. But that’s another problem. Maybe deep down, it’s all connected. After all, only one thing is absolute, that everything is relative. And that’s not my idea.

When we pray for ourselves, we are motivated by a need/desire. But what do people need and pray for? For money, health, power, security, success, Love, affection, luck, family, etc. Yes, these too. It should have been mainly these, but people often look closer than that.

They see a problem of their own (on long or short waves) and seek its solution. Its solution… simply… even when (often) they know that it is not the only thing to seek. The solution must be accompanied by non-repetition.

Excluding health claims related to occasional, chronic illnesses or similar deficiencies, which can be seen as injustices, other problems can be seen as more subjective problems. If it depends on others, one can seek to change others and even the world as a whole towards something that can be seen as more just (or more favorable). If it is something that depends on the person himself, I think one should seek the will to overcome the difficulty or problem, which consequently brings the ability to maintain the situation for a long time. Fate, in general, is something that people pray for and is worth praying for. But we will see this a little later.

Why are such things needed, such as overcoming a random or long-standing problem and fate? To have better opportunities for the realization of what I mentioned at the beginning of the previous paragraph. And why is not what would be more definitive sought directly?

Because people do well not to think too much and not to see too clearly and far. In addition to the reasons for disappointments, we also have: “every day I see more clearly and more clearly and suffer more deeply” (here we enter into views on the validity/invalidity of living, which are not the main subject of this article). So it is necessary that life be pushed forward without many plans, or with those plans that are known to have obstructive/difficult circumstances, for the disappearance of which we pray.

If we understand that overcoming difficult circumstances is necessary for this/those reasons, we can go even deeper and understand that money, health, power, security, success, love, affection, luck, family, etc., serve us to build something similar to our fulfillment and to what is identified as happiness (it is then personal which in particular are the most important among them or others). But why don't we directly seek this thing?

1) We're not that stupid!
2) We're not that smart!

The objectification of man is the basis of being foolish in seeking this. Understanding that the only way to be 100% happy is to be an object (not even an animal: an object, without needs, without desires, without freedom and without lack of freedom, without fulfillment of desires and without fulfillment of needs) (the lack of freedom in an object is obvious, but if you don't need anything, you have all the freedom you need) (the true anti-conformist has a much harder time finding happiness in this regard) (if happiness involves a lot of freedom and a lot of power, you are not cut out to be a believer; the true believer moves towards objectification gradually, the human soul makes it a non-object which will become an object only in the presence of the Almighty (who created us for His will and is said to Love us, but we must do as He wants, otherwise EOF, and is expected to give us absolute happiness if we follow His advice, without needs and without unfulfilled desires, of course without freedom, it is assumed).

To avoid this objectification, our needs and desires are still needed, as well as the "struggle" to fulfill them in pursuit of happiness, which is not unattainable unless the absolute happiness that comes only as a result of objectification is sought (unattainable in any case if freedom and power over our "equals" is what is required by existence).

So why pray? Indeed, without thinking deeply, we pray for the right thing. There comes a moment when life takes on a meaning: the struggle towards a vision of happiness and fulfillment; and sometimes life even seems beautiful if those things sought are attainable with few (or no) hindering circumstances. The path to fulfillment and the maintenance of this fulfillment, if achieved, constitute an aspect of existence. If fulfillment has been achieved and overcome in a hopelessly irreversible way, only the memory remains. Fulfillment… happiness… the level aimed for, desired, achievable/reached, in social, spiritual, emotional aspects, etc.

It is not worth ending one's existence (never if there is an afterlife, but not even if there is one) even when nothing remains except the memory of a time of social/spiritual fulfillment. You can change your goal, either by aiming lower or by aiming for other values ??as primary values. It can and should be done.

The adaptive capacity of the human brain, as well as its somewhat limited memory, help. However, this is another topic, which may have to do with the validity/invalidity of living (since everything is relative).

So why do we pray for certain things in particular? Seriously, why do we pray, if the “struggle” for fulfillment is something we bring out that is an immutable part of what we identify as life. The desire to win, and victory is easier if help is offered. The bigger the battle, the bigger the victory, but the more dangerous it is to lose. What to do… to push oneself towards defeat to increase the pleasure of victory? Or… To win, even with help, as long as we have some idea that it is we who are leading the “struggle” and taking the victory.

Is it arrogance to seek victory without help? Not to accept objectification and not to need to owe (an irrevocable debt, neither in the same coin, nor with the willingness to return in the same coin, only with gratitude and adoration) your success to any being (human/divine)? And then? Even if it is called arrogance, should one suspect it? So, the so-called Almighty who hears knows everything, including my thoughts now! Anyway, that's another topic...

Obstructive circumstances can be divided into subjective, objective and unfair.

Let us pray that injustices do not happen… let us pray even if we are atheists, nothing is absolute, doubt everything, God may even exist.
Objective cases (impossibility, incompetence, justice) are less debatable and more widely accepted, opening up much less confusion and prompting less prayer.

Subjective cases, driven by social opinions or desires or lack of desires that conflict with what is seen as good for continuity, tradition, appearance, the future, etc., are those that need and actually have the most prayers to supernatural powers.

Precisely because these give the impression of being more variable (or more correctly, more changeable).

We can pray and wait for change. If we truly believe, then let us wait for His will to be done, who knows everything and perhaps has a plan for suffering in connection with the freedom to be oneself or suffering in choosing between desires/needs (dis-desires/needs) and the achievements expected by the group. Is it worth praying for? If true faith exists and everything is being done according to the rules, then let us expect that the objectification that results in happiness (!?without life?!) will come in time. Perhaps it is not worth praying for. Not for this change in particular at least.

One person's right ends where another's right begins. If the thing that is not going well in our lives, the obstacle, is closely related to the group's assessment, we must compromise, surrender, or nonconformity. Nonconformity is the easiest thing to do physically, "I have the right and that's it! And let whatever happens, I won't give up."

The consequences of group narrow-mindedness, as long as they are not truly severe (and in some environments they are), can constitute a delightful reason to “fight” for “survival.” Compromise and surrender are more difficult simply because they entail a change in personality, behavior, appearance, preparation, etc. Is that enough?

There are things that a person knows are better to do anyway, but that they have no real desire/will/need to do. Let them choose between laziness in that direction, which is ultimately a form of moving towards mindless happiness/objectification, or activism to oppose with will the desire for laziness, in favor of a change that is expected to bring peace/fulfillment/completeness on the path to happiness.

It can help to choose to see the more difficult path as a challenge, as another battle that constitutes what has been called the “war” that constitutes life. Then let us do what is right to do. Let us not become lazy (or hyperactive in another direction, to avoid facing the so-called “difficult” path).

I am expected to say: “Let us not pray,” but I have no valid arguments against prayer in this case. I say this: since I consider it wrong to wish not to be indebted to a holy Father, let us not expect from him the change that will in any case have to do with our life force, let us not expect from him a sign that may never come, let us not expect from him the right moment to begin, let us not owe him a debt to whom we will never be able to repay (it is said that we owe him our lives, but since he did not ask us at all for this life that he gave us, I do not consider it a debt…). So, let us not pray and use our time and energy to work. (Prayer does offer spiritual peace, but it is a spiritual peace that tends towards objectification.)

In moments of silence let us meditate, if not pray, to know what is right and what is wrong. The answer will come. Let us trust logic.
Praying for luck… first of all, what have we done to deserve luck? Why should we have it? Luck is an aid to our path towards social, mental, spiritual and emotional fulfillment, an aid that would favor us over someone who might perhaps deserve it more?

Or because we, the lucky ones, have done or will do something better… Anyway, luck is the only thing that deserves prayer, even though it is almost downright selfishness, unlike the help we can ask for to change something in ourselves or society. Or is it better to pray for misfortune than to experience hell on earth, since endless heaven awaits us. Maybe it would be better not to pray for this at all?

Prayer and thanksgiving, since they offer considerable spiritual peace, are nevertheless advisable for believers. It would be good to keep in mind something else besides those I mentioned: let us not consume active and energetic time of our lives, let us also benefit from physical relaxation if the opportunity arises from prayer.

And, without fearing selfishness, but objectification, let us try to pray less for ourselves and more for others in need.

PRAYER… In memoriam Alban Shehu
Alban Shehu at the time he wrote "Prayer"

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Don't shed tears on my grave.

Don't shed tears on my grave!
I'm not there!
I'm not sleeping!
I'm the wind that caresses the earth,
I'm the diamond that lights the snow,
I'm the sun that ripens the wheat,
The soft autumn rain that lulls sleep,
When you wake up, in the peace of the morning,
I'm the rustling of birds
When their wings flap towards the sky.
And when evening falls,
I'm among the stars that twinkle sweetly in the heavens!
Don't shed tears on my grave!
I'm not there!
I'm not dead!

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