DREAM / The Prime Minister resigns and wakes up under the Parisian bridge!

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THE TRUTH / The reason for Lilo's long journey through Europe is revealed!

2023-10-30 09:49:06Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
THE TRUTH / The reason for Lilo's long journey through Europe is revealed!
Lilua looking for a house to put her head in

TIRANA/VIENNA/LONDON etc. - He had received so many orders from his friends that he was actually a bit upset when the first thing he was told when he got back was why he was so late. But he didn't even have the strength to get angry, although he had long since lost both his composure and his love.

He simply said to his wife, Mari-Antuaneta Testagrande: "It's your fault, because you collected all those orders for me, you say I'm a real estate office!"

But the countess replied: "Why didn't I take over the orders for free? With percentages, I told them, that we are in trouble, there is no more summer. Now more than ever we need hard cash… So, how did it go?”

Lilo Çepani sighed and muttered: "Not good. Everything is expensive. You can't find it even if you show them stacks of euros. But I believe that we will invent something"...

***

The entire media odyssey of this week, on the exact location of Lilo, whether or not he went abroad, bets on where he went and guesses on whether he will return or run away at all, was not just portal speculation.

In fact, Lilua had not only gone abroad, but had wandered around Europe with a clear goal: He needed houses to rent. Or out of trouble, even to buy them. Someone had managed to extract a secret list from SPAKU with future arrests or calls to the prosecutor's office, and after the first shock when Lilua and her friend saw themselves at the top of the list, they gathered themselves.

Marie-Antoinette, resourceful as she is, decided that she could make a profit out of this as well. He called all the names on the list one by one and told them: "I will give you a piece of news that will save your head, you are in danger; what do you give me in return?"

Not only did they collect a good amount of money, which reminded them of the good years of government, but they thought of paying them again. Testagrande said to each of the pilgrims: "Lilua will go to some safe places in Europe, look for houses to rent or to buy, because difficult times are coming. If you have any orders to find accommodation, give it to us. But do you know, 20% of the amount goes to what you find!"

Everyone agreed, from the Doctor's toads, to some deputies who had recently been called to SPAK for a coffee, to some former directors of taxes, fuel, plates, licenses, etc., etc.

***

But the burden was great. Lilua realized at his expense that he was no longer 20 years old, like when he became a deputy; not even 22 years old, when he became a minister; not even 25 years old, when he became prime minister. Age had taken its toll. He wandered as far as Vienna, Brussels, London, then took turns in some sleepy towns in the Italian Alps, the Black Forest of Thuringia, the fjords of Norway... He was even forced to ask for help from the former Tiger through the secret number, but he refused to tell him where he was.

" I can't help you, what do you say brother?" I sleep under the bridges for myself, "ex-Tigri said as an offender.

In the end, he barely found two apartments for himself, a couple of studios and a dilapidated house - which could be restored - for the Doctor's children.

*** 

The first person he called when he got back was the Doctor. " Listen, Doctor ," he said, " I took that order with my heart between my teeth." If you know that we are direct victims of the misgovernance of the Sorosian Ghati. Do you understand that I couldn't even find a house to rent or buy with cash in hand? There is no question of purchase, they want the money in the bank and leave a trace. For rent, they told me that they have occupied all the Albanians, students, nurses, plumbers, masons, tilers, doctors... What do you say to that?"  

The doctor thought for a moment. "Listen here Lilo," he said then, " I think that this was Rama's plan from the beginning: To make the Albanians flee, then drop the SPAKU on our backs, then we will try to leave and not we won't be able to find anywhere! But we will stay here, we will fight until the end!"

Lilua laughed to herself, hung up the phone and said: "Yes, Doctor, yes, you're going to stay because you don't have a passport, but what do I have?" Without the list of hallelujahs, it was long and he had not finished their work, even though he had received the money.

An idea came to him. He called Marie-Antoinette and said: "Call your friend who you protested with, what is the name of the one who burned the mandates..."

"Flower?" , asked Testagrande in shock.

"Yes, Lulin. Ask and tell, is that house in Holland empty?..."

 

Note: The Patronageist is a pro-social housing satirical column   


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